Fox News Keeps Viewers In State of Insane Rage

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Tuesday, 16 June 2020

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Producer of insane rage

Fox News’ slanted coverage of political news, according to three recent studies, has kept the GOP base in a constant state of rage, forcing GOP politicians to shift further right to satisfy the demands of their voter base. So, to prevent further totally dangerous rightward shifts that threaten their re-election, incumbent GOP senators and representatives have established “anger groups” on the Internet.

The groups use Skype, which enables up to fifty people to connect with one another at a time. Fox News viewers are carefully selected for the groups.

Typically, the clusters collectively yell such words and terms as “kill”, “maim”, “slash”, “torture”, “evil democrats”, “Biden kills babies”, “Cruel Nancy”, “Torment Pelosi”, and “Die Shifty Schiff”. The shrieking usually becomes chant-like, and members bang drums to accompany loud, guttural sounds.

Said GOP Senate Majority Leader, Mitch McConnell, “The Fox News viewers have driven me to take absolutely insane policy positions to appease their rage. I think the new Skype anger groups will enable people to still watch Fox, but remain insane at a level that doesn’t drive me any more to the right than I’ve gone, which is pretty near off a cliff.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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