Faucian Bargain: Faucian Dilemma:

Funny story written by Charles Havers

Wednesday, 20 May 2020

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Dr. Anthony Fauci is a conflicted man these days. He believes that the medications that a patient takes is no one’s business other than the patient and the patient’s physician. Accordingly, on one hand, he is not troubled by President Trump’s is taking hydroxychloroquine (“HCQ”) to keep from getting the coronavirus. He is actually thrilled by that and wishes that Trump were taking much higher doses. On the other hand, he is horrified that Trump has made this public because there is insufficient evidence that HCQ prevents COVID-19 and some evidence that it is dangerous. Not surprisingly, Fauci is concerned that others will do as Trump does.

Furthermore, Fauci, like his distant forebear, Dr. Faust, has been offered an attractive bargain by Mephistopheles. He has been assured that if he tells President Trump that a combination of HCQ, rat poison, and arsenic will guarantee that Trump never gets COVID-19, the President will eagerly consume such a potion. Fauci has also been assured that, if this occurs, no one will ever know that he is the one who recommended the concoction to the President. The dilemma for Faust is the knowledge that Trump will almost certainly make public his plans before sipping the elixir and this could lead to disaster for numerous copycats who will do as Trump does.

As Fauci ponders this dilemma, he is anxious to hear any thoughts that you may have. Should he accept the bargain? What would you do if you were Fauci?

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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