The Most Presidential Of Drugs

Written by Backandtotheleft

Tuesday, 19 May 2020

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Gravity? Doesn't exist mate

Presidential Womble and all round flappy-handed lunatic, Donald Trump, has admitted he is taking hydroxychloroquine in an attempt to fight off Coronavirus. Having been informed by multiple health officials that “this shit does not work”, the Trumpster is having none of it! Stating:

"The experts that I, personally, talk to, don’t have these fancy degrees and “qualifications” printed on paper from places we’ve never heard of. No. My experts have their degrees in their minds, and everyone knows that’s where the brain is."

Actual medical experts (you know….doctors) have said that the drug may actually cause heart problems, but that won’t bother Donald. It’s already been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that he already has problems with his heart.

Nurses and front line staff everywhere looked nervously at one another as he (please remember this is somehow the President of the United States) stated “that many many front line staff are taking the drug.”

The US Food and Drug Agency has stated several times that the drug has:

"Not been shown to be safe or effective."

But then added:

"But fuck it, if that mad, orange fuck wants to poison himself with a fucking snake oil cure, let him get the fuck on with it. Fuck it, if he’s still interested in injecting disinfectant, we know a great little place to get gallons of the stuff cheap."

We weren’t 100% sure if this was an official spokesman or not.

Mr Trump ended with:

"All I can tell you, is that I’m OK."

From what we at Back and to the Left news can see, no, Mr Trump, you are clearly not OK. You mad turd.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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