HURRICANE BEACH, Florida – In what local residents are calling a very unpopular decision in this day of the Coronavirus, the Florida Beach Authority has decided to reopen Hurricane Beach.
When life-time resident, Trixie Belle Stufflebaum, 91, heard the news the church-going evangelical blurted out, “What the eff!”
Trixie Belle, who lives a mere 100 yards from the beach, said that, a few weeks ago, she saw more boobs and ass cheeks than she had seen in her entire life.
She wondered if some of these nubile college girls didn’t buy their bikini swimsuits out of a Post Office stamp machine.
The elderly woman said, as she sat on her porch, that she had never heard so much cussing, screaming, sneezing, and coughing in all of her 91 years.
Trixie Belle commented that she will just go with the flow, and added that she has drawn all of her shades, turned off all of her lights, and, most of the time, she just nervously sits in her bathroom singing old, popular Irish clogging songs to her pet dog, Sniffles.