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Funny satire stories about dating

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Funny story: New York Woman Happy to Be Single by Choice

New York Woman Happy to Be Single by Choice

Although it would be quite simple for her to meet her soul-mate and fall madly and passionately in love should she so opt, 38-year-old Brenda Meadows of Brooklyn, New York, is genuinely happy to be single by choice. “It’s a decision I feel so good...

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Funny story: Unhappy Couple Role-Play Themselves into Relationship Success

Unhappy Couple Role-Play Themselves into Relationship Success

After dating seriously for almost two years, Ray Campbell and Monique DuBois of Brooklyn, New York, found that their relationship had deteriorated to the extent that they could scarcely stand the sight of each other. Out of sheer desperation, they tu...

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Funny story: Administrative Assistant Feels He Was Sexually Harassed On First Date

Administrative Assistant Feels He Was Sexually Harassed On First Date

Wisconsin. Sources confirmed Tuesday that Biff Spud, a "new hire" at a city administration building in Door County, Wisconsin, was sexually harassed by Human Resources Director, Jennifer Kriels, 39, on a date they had the previous weekend. The...

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Funny story: Brooklyn Man Confused When Random Girl Tries to Break Up with Him

Brooklyn Man Confused When Random Girl Tries to Break Up with Him

Josh Adams of Brooklyn, New York, was confused when a random girl, whom he'd hung out with maybe a dozen times over the course of a few months, told him that she needed to break up with him. "She caught me totally off guard," said Josh of the gir...

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Funny story: Men Everywhere Truly Embracing Valentine’s Day

Men Everywhere Truly Embracing Valentine’s Day

No longer considering it a contrived, commercially-motivated holiday to be observed solely out of obligation, men everywhere have come to truly embrace Valentine’s Day, indicates a recent nationwide poll. One Valentine's Day enthusiast, Harold Bro...

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Funny story: Man's Unwelcome Guest Had Cheapfucker Imitation Bag

Man's Unwelcome Guest Had Cheapfucker Imitation Bag

In a story published earlier on these pages regarding a man who had to endure an unwanted female houseguest, due to his wife's kindness, I had intended to mention the woman's possessions were stored in a cheapfucker adidas-imitation bag, but I forgot...

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Funny story: Look at the size of my fish...

Look at the size of my fish...

Gary Thatcher Hogbottom, a single man of considerable means, is confused as to why the photos he puts up on Firestarter.web get him no attention from the opposite gender. 'I put up photos of all of the fish I catch,' said the balding, portly forty...

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Funny story: Joanne and Morgan's Guardian Blind Date Leads to Claim of Sexism

Joanne and Morgan's Guardian Blind Date Leads to Claim of Sexism

The participants of The Guardian Weekend’s most recent Blind Date column, Joanne and Morgan, got more than they bargained for after a highly successful evening out propelled the pair into the public eye, and resulted in a claim of sexism by The Guard...

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Funny story: Monsanto’s First-Ever Genetically Modified Man Proves a Hit with Ladies

Monsanto’s First-Ever Genetically Modified Man Proves a Hit with Ladies

The jury is in: Monsanto’s first-ever genetically modified human, who/which was first launched in 2016, and is the only living adult male officially certified to be Roundup-ready, has proven to be a solid hit with the ladies! Monsanto first concei...

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Funny story: Man in his 30's uploads old photos to dating website

Man in his 30's uploads old photos to dating website

Wayne Hemmings, 30 realised that he might have made a mistake uploading photographs to Match.com that were twenty years old. 'I heard it was a common move that people in their 40's and 50's did it, so I did the same thing'. What Wayne didn't re...

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Funny story: 10 Extremely Brutal and Horrifying Things That You Should Never Say on a First Date

10 Extremely Brutal and Horrifying Things That You Should Never Say on a First Date

WARNING: This article was written by a severely angry, lonely, aging, balding, alcoholic who knows absolutely nothing about dating and who is currently suffering a severe mid-life crisis. It also contains needless and vile descriptions of anal explosions, butt-sex, pre-ejaculatory fluid, and jerking-off. If you consider yourself to be a decent and moral person, you will probably turn your compu...

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Funny story: Nashville Woman Decides to Put Herself Out There

Nashville Woman Decides to Put Herself Out There

Recently, Catherine Parker of Nashville, Tennessee, made the extremely personal decision to put herself out there. “I'm ready,” she said. “This decision didn't come easily, but I've been working on Me for a long time, and it's really paid off. I'm...

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Funny story: Online Couple Decide to Go on an Actual Date

Online Couple Decide to Go on an Actual Date

Happy couple Jake Reed and Marla Moss, who first encountered each other over five months ago on the online dating site Bumble, have decided to take their relationship to the next level and go on an actual date. For the first three months after th...

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Funny story: Happy Couple Embarrassed to Admit They Met Offline

Happy Couple Embarrassed to Admit They Met Offline

Sickeningly-sweet New York City couple, Jason Morley and Carolyn Shea, recently – and reluctantly – revealed to their friends that they met offline, rather than through an online dating site. “We actually met waiting in line at a coffee shop,” sa...

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Funny story: Frugal Penthouse Playboy Has Trouble Finding Quality Mistress

Frugal Penthouse Playboy Has Trouble Finding Quality Mistress

To his dismay, penthouse playboy Earl Cook says that he's encountered unexpected difficulties in finding a quality mistress due to his intense aversion to spending money on anyone other than himself. An impressive example of pull-yourself-up-by-yo...

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Funny story: New Year's Revelation! New York Woman Realizes Mediocre Sort-Of Relationship Is Worth Sacrificing Everything For

New Year's Revelation! New York Woman Realizes Mediocre Sort-Of Relationship Is Worth Sacrificing Everything For

At the age of 33, Giselle Watson of New York City was still single, and for the life of her, she couldn't understand why. "Actually, that's not quite true," Giselle admits now with an embarrassed smile, catching herself in her own lie. "I'd let my...

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Funny story: Online Dating Turns into a Family Affair, Leads to Second Date

Online Dating Turns into a Family Affair, Leads to Second Date

Portland. In an attempt to jump-start his dating life, Butch Putts, a freshman at the local college, registered his profile with an online dating site, Last Best Hope Dating, Inc. LBHD is currently offering a 20% discount for first-time daters and a 95% discount for returning daters, who've lost all hope but are willing to give it another try. "At 95% off, what do I have to lose but a little...

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