MADRID, New York – The man who was Donald Trump’s personal attorney and so called “Fixer” for ten years, has just commented that he is ready to sing like Celine Dion.
Michael Cohen said that he has had a lot of time to think, as he sat in his tiny 8 foot by 10 cell at New York state’s infamous Sang Sung Prison.
The 53-year-old lawyer declared that, since being imprisoned, the president has only sent him one text message. The text message said “Hey, Mikey, remember our deal, pal? You will not reveal any damning evidence about me, and I will not mention that night in Tijuana Mexico with you, the inflatable 6-foot-tall female doll, me, and that big-mouthed witch, Stormy Daniels.”
Cohen said that Trump had promised to give him a pardon, but he then said that his pardons are all still being audited. He assured him that he will do his very best to get him released before Christmas 2021.