MOSCOW – One of Moscow’s leading daily newspapers, The Moscow Red Press, has just announced that a 101-story Trump Tower will be built right across from the Kremlin.
The Red Press learned of the deal from one of Russia’s top ballerinas, Sofilana Nizvograd, who used to date Russian leader Valdirmir Putin.
The sultry 31-year-old ballerina said that she learned of the deal through a text that Vladykins, as she calls him, sent her.
According to Miss Nizvograd, Trump and Putin initially discussed the deal when Trump visited Russia on what she called “President Trump’s Big Red Ass-Kissing Trip".
She commented that she actually saw a shirtless photo of “Old Itsy Bitsy Fingers” that Trump had autographed for Vlady. Miss Nizvograd said that it was all that she could do to keep from throwing up her Pelmini Pastry Dumplings dinner.
The Red Press announced that every single Russian worker who works on the Red Trump Tower, as it has been named, will get paid 100% of what his contract calls for.
This is unlike the Trump workers in the USA, where “Old Carrot Face” either paid them nothing at all, or just 20 to 40% of what the contract called for.
(IN CLOSING – Regarding the Houston Astros Sign-Stealing Scandal, Trump has hinted that he plans to grant them an official Presidential Pardon.)