NEW YORK CITY – The Vox Populi News Agency is reporting that five countries want President Trump kicked out of office immediately.
Pierre DuPuzzle, who is the spokesman for the 5-country group, said that the petitions contain a total of 29,802,714 names.
He added that, if the United States Congress does not remove the man known worldwide as “The Divider-in-Chief”, the five countries will end all trade relations with the United States.
DuPuzzle added that France will stop shipping wine and French fries, Canada will stop shipping Canada Dry and pet reindeer, Germany will no longer ship Mercedes-Benz and Volkswagen Beetles, England will curtail their shipment of English Leather Mens Cologne and Blimey Brand Biscuits, and Zimbabwe will stop shipping Jungle Gardenia Womens Perfume and Rhino Pizzas.
When Trump heard about the petitions, he turned as red as a stop sign, and began coughing beyond control. Luckily for him, Steven “The Turdhead” Mnuchin was next to him, and he proceeded to give POTUS mouth-to-mouth resuscitation (for 17 minutes???).
(IN CLOSING – Contrary to what Whoopi Goldberg, LeBron James, and Tiffany Trump are all saying, Trump and Mnuchin are not dating.)
