Gary Johnson has seven watches, and for a change, all of them are telling the right time. He has another seven watches that are now an hour out. "Yes, like most men, I have a series of winter watches and a series of summer watches so that when the…
CHICAGO - (Satire News) - Daylight Savings Time (called British Summer Time) in the United Kingdom has been around for a long time...too long of a time according to many experts on time. Two professors at Solid State University in San Antonio, hav…
Time is speeding up. The shortest day on record was on June 29, according to atom clocks. When dinosaurs roamed the planet, the average day was 23.5 hours. Since 1820, scientists have keeping track to see how the Earth’s rotation has been slowing…
Mar a Largo - A new US Congress is already meeting. Comprised of projected winners, they have written a bill shaking the current administration in their diapers. Inspired by recent bills to make Daylight Savings Permanent, the new bill will sprin…
Historians have decided in a poll to end all polls that the most epoch changing time in world history was Chico Time. For a resoundingly short time, Chico Time happened in the early 2010s, just after the completely over-rated Hammer Time. Profe…
Germany's leader, Angela Merkel, has informed the US president, Donald Trump, that she has had enough, the world is fed up, the game is over, "und, Mein Gott!" it's time for him to go. Or it will be in January. Trump was beaten hands-down, fair…
The sight of a disturbed back garden is often the sign of unwanted nocturnal activity for many householders, but the strange discovery made by a couple in Bradford left them scratching their heads, after they found a giant timepiece in the middle of…
A wristwatch that had been laid redundant for more than eight months, after its battery ran out of power on the same day as Lockdown commenced, has seen 'active service' once again, after a new power cell was inserted into it earlier today. Moys K…
News has just reached us that, according to official timekeepers at the office of the Department of Time, in Greenwich, London, the Speaking Clock will make its much-awaited return to service in January. And the time is just gone twenty to five.
Cautioning that the novel coronavirus can linger on surfaces like flower petals for up to 17 hours, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention warned people not to stop and smell the roses, even though they could die at any moment from COVID-19.
The well-worn phrase which implies that time moves faster when we are enjoying ourselves, and that it drags when we are not, has been given scientific credibility at last, after countless people rang the BBC to complain that time was now progressing...
When he learned via Facebook that his toxic, narcissistic ex-girlfriend, Jessica Montbleau, was about to tie the knot with someone else, Colin Carver of Nashville, Tennessee, knew it was time for him to take swift, decisive action in order to salvage...
Unwilling to let life pass him by, Jake Gentry of Nashville, Tennessee, attempted to seize the day, or, at least, capture a moment or two, only to find that they all slipped away. “It’s frustrating,” said Gentry of his failed efforts to hold on to...
Despite his best efforts to make better use of himself, Time ended up getting totally wasted - again. "I guess some stuff happened, but I have no clue what," said Time. "I was flying, is about all I can remember. And the seconds got a little slopp...
Daylights Wasting Time is upon us. Tomorrow morning at precisely 2 a.m., set your clocks back to 1 a.m. Then, wait an hour for it to turn 2 a.m. again. This time, set the clock ahead one hour to 3 a.m. And that's it. You're all set. You won't h...
The Longest Day, that annual feast that celebrates having more time to do stuff during daylight than on any of the other 364 days, has arrived once again! Known by people in times gone by as 'the Longest Day', the Longest Day can be as much as 1 m...
A teacher in a Science lesson at a school in Bangkok was surprised this morning, when the school bell rang for breaktime, a full four minutes earlier than he had expected it to ring. The incident happened at 8:40am, but the teacher in the classroo...
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