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Funny satire stories about Time

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Funny story: Neither Superman Nor Cher Can Turn Back Time

Neither Superman Nor Cher Can Turn Back Time

Time is speeding up. The shortest day on record was on June 29, according to atom clocks. When dinosaurs roamed the planet, the average day was 23.5 hours. Since 1820, scientists have keeping track to see how the Earth’s rotation has been slowing…

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Funny story: New US Congress to implement super DST

New US Congress to implement super DST

Mar a Largo - A new US Congress is already meeting. Comprised of projected winners, they have written a bill shaking the current administration in their diapers. Inspired by recent bills to make Daylight Savings Permanent, the new bill will sprin…

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Funny story: Chico Time was completely underappreciated say Historians

Chico Time was completely underappreciated say Historians

Historians have decided in a poll to end all polls that the most epoch changing time in world history was Chico Time. For a resoundingly short time, Chico Time happened in the early 2010s, just after the completely over-rated Hammer Time. Profe…

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Funny story: Trump Told By Angela Merkel: "It's Time To Go!"

Trump Told By Angela Merkel: "It's Time To Go!"

Germany's leader, Angela Merkel, has informed the US president, Donald Trump, that she has had enough, the world is fed up, the game is over, "und, Mein Gott!" it's time for him to go. Or it will be in January. Trump was beaten hands-down, fair…

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Funny story: Couple Find Giant Timepiece In Back Garden

Couple Find Giant Timepiece In Back Garden

The sight of a disturbed back garden is often the sign of unwanted nocturnal activity for many householders, but the strange discovery made by a couple in Bradford left them scratching their heads, after they found a giant timepiece in the middle of…

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Funny story: Watch Has Been Given New Lease Of Life

Watch Has Been Given New Lease Of Life

A wristwatch that had been laid redundant for more than eight months, after its battery ran out of power on the same day as Lockdown commenced, has seen 'active service' once again, after a new power cell was inserted into it earlier today. Moys K…

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Funny story: Speaking Clock To Make Welcome Return

Speaking Clock To Make Welcome Return

News has just reached us that, according to official timekeepers at the office of the Department of Time, in Greenwich, London, the Speaking Clock will make its much-awaited return to service in January. And the time is just gone twenty to five.

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Funny story: CDC Warns that Coronavirus May Linger on Petals So Don’t Stop and Smell the Roses

CDC Warns that Coronavirus May Linger on Petals So Don’t Stop and Smell the Roses

Cautioning that the novel coronavirus can linger on surfaces like flower petals for up to 17 hours, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention warned people not to stop and smell the roses, even though they could die at any moment from COVID-19.

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Funny story: Time Taking Longer To Happen During Lockdown

Time Taking Longer To Happen During Lockdown

The well-worn phrase which implies that time moves faster when we are enjoying ourselves, and that it drags when we are not, has been given scientific credibility at last, after countless people rang the BBC to complain that time was now progressing...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Does Wrong Thing In Nick of Time

Nashville Man Does Wrong Thing In Nick of Time

When he learned via Facebook that his toxic, narcissistic ex-girlfriend, Jessica Montbleau, was about to tie the knot with someone else, Colin Carver of Nashville, Tennessee, knew it was time for him to take swift, decisive action in order to salvage...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Tries to Seize the Day but It Slips Away

Nashville Man Tries to Seize the Day but It Slips Away

Unwilling to let life pass him by, Jake Gentry of Nashville, Tennessee, attempted to seize the day, or, at least, capture a moment or two, only to find that they all slipped away. “It’s frustrating,” said Gentry of his failed efforts to hold on to...

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Funny story: Time Gets Totally Wasted - Again

Time Gets Totally Wasted - Again

Despite his best efforts to make better use of himself, Time ended up getting totally wasted - again. "I guess some stuff happened, but I have no clue what," said Time. "I was flying, is about all I can remember. And the seconds got a little slopp...

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Funny story: Don't Forget To Set Your Clocks Back One Hour, Then Ahead One Hour

Don't Forget To Set Your Clocks Back One Hour, Then Ahead One Hour

Daylights Wasting Time is upon us. Tomorrow morning at precisely 2 a.m., set your clocks back to 1 a.m. Then, wait an hour for it to turn 2 a.m. again. This time, set the clock ahead one hour to 3 a.m. And that's it. You're all set. You won't h...

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Funny story: Longest Day Is Good News For Little Pigs

Longest Day Is Good News For Little Pigs

The Longest Day, that annual feast that celebrates having more time to do stuff during daylight than on any of the other 364 days, has arrived once again! Known by people in times gone by as 'the Longest Day', the Longest Day can be as much as 1 m...

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Funny story: Man's Watch Four Minutes Slow

Man's Watch Four Minutes Slow

A teacher in a Science lesson at a school in Bangkok was surprised this morning, when the school bell rang for breaktime, a full four minutes earlier than he had expected it to ring. The incident happened at 8:40am, but the teacher in the classroo...

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Funny story: The Start of June Is The End Of May

The Start of June Is The End Of May

What with all the jostling going on with the Conservative Party leadership contest, as well as the still undecided disaster area that is Brexit in the forefront of people's minds, we thought we'd bring you some light relief from politics. Time is...

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Funny story: Szjlobovjian Parliament Vetoes Daylight Saving Time

Szjlobovjian Parliament Vetoes Daylight Saving Time

While the United States Congress appears to be poised to pass a measure mandating Daylight Saving Time for fifty-one weeks of the year, the tiny East European republic of Szjlobovjia has taken the opposite tack, with its parliament unanimously reject...

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