In a local Tesco, unsold, slightly rotting Pumpkin Tim Claypole and unsold firework Christoper Biggins are commiserating about their fate. 'It is dreadful' bewailed Tim 'no-one wanted me. I was not taken into a toddler's home, to feel the love tha…
Plucky young Pumpkin Bobby Roberts has been told tales of what happens to Pumpkins at Halloween, and now, like all of us, he lives in a world of dread. 'I heard' bewailed Bobby 'that the lucky ones of us suffer all types of torment, and any unluck…
Donald Trump Halloween masks are already selling off the shelf. Some of these masks are selling with skeleton outfits (which is contradictory even for Halloween), while others are pre-packaged with wrinkled navy blue suits and red ties sold by the ya…
CUCUMBER CREEK, Rhode Island – (Satire News) – Little 8-year-old dare devil sensation Billy “Rocket Boy” Pizzquilly was bound and determined to prove that he can get his rocket contraption, which he named “Bitchfire,” to travel at speeds exceeding 12…
After months of self-isolation watching Happy Days reruns and Harry Potter movies on Netflix with his kids, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau reportedly spent most of Wednesday morning asking friends and staffers whether this Halloween was the o…
Halloween, or All Hallows' Eve, is just around the corner again, but with the deadly Coronavirus still doing its dastardly work, changes to the normal Halloween format have had to be made. Perhaps the most impirtant change is an adaptation of the…
LOS ANGELES – (Satire News) – The Los Angeles Post-Gazette has just noted that the number one-selling Halloween mask for this Halloween season is the President Donald Trump mask. One of the nation’s leading Halloween mask producers, Masks & A…
A boy in Harlesden has told his friends that he is really looking forward to Halloween this year. Billy Shrapnel, 12, said he always enjoys this time of the year, because there are two exciting events within a week of each other - Halloween and Gu…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Spoof News) The President, after meeting with top advisers, has issued a statement stating that he has decided to cancel this year’s Halloween. Top advisers, Ivanka Trump, Kellyanne Conway, and Eric Trump, all agree that having…
There's disappointment amongst children of all ages right across the country this evening, as the news filtered through that Halloween had been cancelled, after it was discovered that pumpkins are imported into the UK from Europe. The UK Food Agen...
The Manchester United and England central defender, Harry Maguire, and his girlfriend, Fern Hawkins, have been spoken to by police after an unsavoury incident at their home last night, involving Halloween revellers. A group of young children, 200-...
Save yourself the mess and the stress of making your families jack-o-lanterns this Halloween; let Vegan Zombies do it for you! Our non-brain eating team of eager un-deads are more than happy to turn their ravenous talents to scooping out the inna...
British Prime Minister Boris Johnson had, according to sources, resigned himself to having his Brexit bill's 3-day timetable rejected by MPs, and not being able to leave the EU with his 'deal', but has now dragged the whole sorry process as low as it...
Washington, D.C. - At least a thousand people say they observed an unidentified flying object (UFO) circling the White House last evening. Some observers say it looked like a cigar shaped object moving at lightning speed. Another observer said it mus...
In the latest craze to hit the horror fan crowd, are Haunted Houses designed for very specific groups. Each is tailor-made to scare the bone marrow out of their target audience - Gun Nut Horror House - Specially made to scare the beejeebees out of gun nuts everywhere. Projectors flicker images of headlines across the walls of pending legislation to control guns in different regions of the US.
A Halloween event 'organised' by a Bangkok school was a spectacular flop, according to one of the people involved. The evening of 31 October is traditionally one of witches, pumpkins, skulls, skeletons, bats, black cats, spiders and ghosts, and th...
A new Halloween movie hits cinemas today, and, according to inside sources, it's the scariest scary movie ever to scare people! Starring several stars, 'Halloween, Or Something' is said to be SO scary, the film's producers are worried they might h...
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