James Comey releases new novel: On the Cement with a Boot on My Head

Written by joseph k winter

Thursday, 5 September 2019

image for James Comey releases new novel: On the Cement with a Boot on My Head
Mr. Comey's hero improved his image following the down on the cement incident

Former Director of the FBI, James Comey is again in the spotlight due to his latest novel, which some believe shows autobiographical elements.

On the Cement with a Boot on My Head is a sensational spy-novel type thriller with its protagonist strongly resembling Mr. Comey.

Main character Jackson E. Hoover is 6 foot 8 inches tall and age 55 (as with Comey) .

Jackson is also Director of the FBI during an unspecified period with dark moments involving a female American politician named Hollary Rodsworth Splinton.

His woes with Hollary's emails occupy the first part of the narrative, followed by much worse.

Subsequently, he becomes involved with the Shpeel Dossier, involving fictional president Donald J. Stump.

Jackson E. Hoover unfortunately allowed his generous nature (plus too many drinks in a darkened bar with what he thought were Russian agents but turned out CIA) to lead him astray.

That is, he was entirely taken in via Hollary Rodsworth Splinton’s shenanigans and the Shpeel Dossier.

He then force-fed this story everywhere he could as to why Mr. Stump should be removed from office.

Also, he assisted Director of the CIA at the time, Quentin Splenetic, and NSA director, Jorge Perfidious, pushing the Russia-gate story full speed into The New York Times and onto Rachel Maddow of MSNBC.

Little did he know that coming down on him was the Republican Attorney General of the moment, William Starr.

On a dark night following a clandestine meeting with Quentin Splenetic and Jorge Perfidious, hero Jackson E. Hoover finds himself down on the cement with a boot on his head.

A voice informs him that AG William Starr is very much looking into indiscretions in his various failures, including pushing the Shpeel Dossier.

Indeed, all the “evidence” for the Russia thing has turned out thin and pale as an old flour tortilla going moldy.

Did all this mean the AG was indeed coming after him for his indiscretions?

The boot lifted temporarily, then was replaced with added pressure.

“Damn right,” came a voice Mr. Jackson E. Hoover associated with his hero J. Edgar Hoover.

Mr. Comey's previous novel has also undergone a revival since the release of this new masterpiece.

I Heard a Fly Buzz When I Fried is an account of the execution of a long-time prisoner on Death Row by electrocution.

Again the protagonist is six feet eight inches, with the name James Entwhistle Hoover.

In his time in his cell on Death Row, he cultivated a friendship with an ordinary house fly he named Hector.

I Heard a Fly Buzz When I Fried is the story of a man wronged by public opinion and judicial misfortune.

His only understanding comes from Hector, circling his head as voltage is released, and James Entwhistle Hoover twitches.

Mr. Comey is reported interested in The Nobel Prize for Literature with these efforts.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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