Trade War with China Causes Trump to Increase Immigration from Mexico

Written by Amiko Aventurista

Monday, 2 September 2019

image for Trade War with China Causes Trump to Increase Immigration from Mexico
China Tells US " Put In Your Corn Hole"

In a bizarre turn of events, two seemingly unrelated issues, Mexican immigration to the US and Chinese-USA trade negotiations, are now intertwined with results that were completely unpredictable just last week. According to White House officials, US corn farmers are losing millions of dollars due to China's tariffs, which are in response to tariffs imposed by the USA on Chinese exports. To resolve the problem, the Administration will propose a significant increase in temporary immigration from Mexico.

Using the Freedom of Information Act to secure transcripts from an emergency meeting of his national security team and senior economic and immigration advisers, this reporter confirms President Trump will increase temporary immigration from Mexico to solve the problem his trade war with China is causing US corn farmers. The meeting notes say President Trump agreed with Agriculture Secretary Sonny Perdue to increase immigration from Mexico is a great solution worthy of a President that Makes America Great Again, and best for US corn farmers because "...Mexicans eat corn tortillas, nacho chips and burritos likes there's no tomorrow." Immigration hardliner Stephen Miller stormed out of the meeting.

Furthermore, the transcripts reveal White House Minister of Truth, Shiv Aalok, will release both of the following quotes from President Trump:

"Making America Great Again is what I'm all about. Corn farmers make America great again. As usual, I used the art of the deal to find the greatest solution. A true win-win solution. I WIN AGAIN!!"

And:

"I have never been against immigration from Mexico, nor have I said a bad word about Mexicans. NOT EVEN ONCE. I love Mexicans. All those reports are fake news. Totally fake. I hope Mexicans come over, eat up all this extra corn we have sitting around, and then I will send them home again--PRONTO."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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