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President Vows To "Put The Lead Back In Paint"

Funny story: President Vows To "Put The Lead Back In Paint"

In what Republican lawmakers touted as certain boost for the economy, the president revealed his plan today, to "Put The Lead Back In Paint." A spokesperson for the Society of Mothers For The Manufacture of Lead responded that this is exactly what...

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Spinney McGintz Gives Tips On How To Act In Court

Funny story: Spinney McGintz Gives Tips On How To Act In Court

Yo everybody, this is your good friend Spinny McGintz talking to you from Riker's Island prison where I'm spending a little vacation after holding up a burger joint with a frozen banana. Don't worry about me, I'll be just fine in my nice new orange jump suit. Today I want to explain to all of you everything you need to know about court etiquette. Believe me after spending several of days in c...

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Texas Requires Men Who Masturbate To Have Burial Services For ALL Of Thier Unborn Children

Funny story: Texas Requires Men Who Masturbate To Have Burial Services For ALL Of Thier Unborn Children

In Earth, Texas, 15 year old Jess Mobley is like a lot of teenage boys: he plays sports and likes video games, and like other boys his age, he masturbates a lot and often has wet dreams--but under new "Sanctity of Life" laws already enacted in Texas,...

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How do We Improve Our Prisons?

Funny story: How do We Improve Our Prisons?

"UK Prison Reform. A serious issue that needs to be taken seriously." (BBC London. 19/05/2016) Some suggestions. 1. Daily full body massages. 2. Freely available prostitutes. 3. Boxing stadiums. 4. Regular visiting entertainers like Rolf Harris or Boris Johnson. 5. Comprehensive menu prepared by Gordon Ramsay. 6. Wine, spirits and beer available with all meals. 7. Prescr...

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School Magazine Shut Down

Funny story: School Magazine Shut Down

In an unprecedented move Pfennigs the notorious law firm of London who protect their clients from 'defamation' have moved on The Sacred Heart Girls Secondary School in Hull, England. The students published a letter in their weekly online magazine...

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Bill Cosby Demands to Know Why His Q-Score Has Fallen So Low

Funny story: Bill Cosby Demands to Know Why His Q-Score Has Fallen So Low

Huxtable, Massachusetts Comedian Bill Cosby's lawyers have contacted the Q-Rating Co., the one that surveys people to ascertain popularity ratings of celebrities, to see why their client has fallen so low in their most recent report. "It just look...

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Humiliation for Terrorists!

The new Terrorism Control Act which became law at midnight last night introduces a new range of Terrorism Related Offences (TROs) and takes a surprisingly innovative approach to the punishment of those offences. The Act defines TROs as the manufa...

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Death is now optional

Under the new Dying Act which came into effect today all forms of dying other than euthanasia are illegal. A spokesperson for the Government said that euthanasia, either self-administered or assisted is now the only way that people can die. She added...

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Sharia law: Integration, Influence, Destruction.

A number of Western countries have been urged to integrate Sharia law (Islamic religious law) into their legal system by their Islamic residents. The idea has even found some favour amongst some of the leading and influential people, such as politici...

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Police Launch Operation Witch-Hunt

Funny story: Police Launch Operation Witch-Hunt

Police today have announced the launch of Operation Witch-Hunt . In a statement issued today, Chief Superintendent Hopkins, who will head the operation, has said that although witchcraft is not illegal in the UK anymore there are many historica...

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Bumper Stickers Annonymous

Funny story: Bumper Stickers Annonymous

You're driving down the road and suddenly you find yourself behind a vehicle covered completely in bumper stickers. What do you do? This is exactly the question local officials are asking in the latest crackdown for road safety.

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Free The Nipple Campaign- Feminists Call for Criminalization of Female Sexualization

Funny story: Free The Nipple Campaign- Feminists Call for Criminalization of Female Sexualization

The re-emergence of the Free the Nipple Campaign has really taken hold with Feminists around the world especially here in the states. Based on the idea that a woman's nipples are no more offensive than a man's nipples, it has sparked the demand for...

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Colorado Spends Some of its 'Pot of Gold.'

Funny story: Colorado Spends Some of its 'Pot of Gold.'

Denver, Colorado - Governor John Chickencooper (R) wasn't so sure about letting his citizens grow mad weed and flog it out across the rest of America like a big weed rainbow, lighting up the sky - but he's sure enjoying the big pot of gold which has...

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Don't Double-Park in Finland

Funny story: Don't Double-Park in Finland

Helsinki, Finland - If you're rich, and you live in Finland, don't get caught breaking the law in your car. That's the message sent by the Finnish government, as fines are given based on your income. Don't tell this to Saku Longfardts, owner of the L...

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Alabama Man Finally Delivers First Rape Baby!

Funny story: Alabama Man Finally Delivers First Rape Baby!

Birmingham, AL - Cleevon Huckleby, 39, first became famous when he accidentally volunteered to become the very first man in America to have a fetus, tragically conceived during a sexual assault, shot into his stomach lining, in an effort to save the...

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Beware The Sabre-Tooth Lawyer!

Funny story: Beware The Sabre-Tooth Lawyer!

A man thought to be "Lawyer" was spotted lurking outside Midlands Bank in Kensington, London, yesterday. It is not known what type of Lawyer he was... but all are dangerous. This one was heavily disguised in a pinstripe suit and carried an umbrella a...

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Religion Drives Man Crazy

Funny story: Religion Drives Man Crazy

On the evidence of the witness who inhabited the flat beneath the defendant's the judge had no hesitation but to refer the defendant for psychiatric evaluation. The charges of malicious damage to property and disturbing the peace were dropped on compassionate grounds. The judge had reached the decision after questioning the witness thoroughly and allowing his tape recording of the events leadi...

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Obama Introduces Educational Reforms

Funny story: Obama Introduces Educational Reforms

To a packed gathering of invited newspaper journalists at the Press Room of the White House, President Obama has announced sweeping reforms of the U.S. education system. The speech was greeted by rapturous applause,... except for one man whom security had to bundle from the hall for swearing obscenities about "lies!", "damned hypocrisy!", and "fascist mind control!". Here is the speech in fu...

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Breaking news…

Trump Now Also President of Egypt

President Donald Trump now claims to be part Egyptian after a new mummy was uncovered. Noted the President, "Look! It's old, wrinkly, shriveled, and orange! Just like me!"
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