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Old-Testament God Creates 11th Commandment: “Thou Shalt Not Engage in Victim Blaming, You Sadistic Morons”

WASHINGTON D.C. - Emerging from the heavens amidst a flurry of lightning and ferocious winds, the Old-Testament God, commonly known as Yahweh, descended upon the United States Congress. “I am the Lord thy God,” Yahweh bellowed, shaking the ground...

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Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh Reports Stigmata from Contentious Senate Confirmation Hearings

Funny story: Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh Reports Stigmata from Contentious Senate Confirmation Hearings

The newest United States Supreme Court Justice, Brett Kavanaugh, reported that during the contentious confirmation hearings before the Senate Judiciary Committee during which he was forced to defend himself against accusations of sexual misconduct ma...

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President Trump Vows to Protect Sexual Predators from “Evil, Unfair” Sexual Assault Victims

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Trump took to the airwaves today to address an issue near and dear to the dark void where a heart is supposed to be. He admitted to coming to the aid of Judge Brett Kavanaugh during his tumultuous confirmation hearing.

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Whormonal Judge Sure Screwed Over Those Ugly Democrats

Funny story: Whormonal Judge Sure Screwed Over Those Ugly Democrats

Washington AC/DC, USA - Fans of new SCOTUS jurist Judge Pantsonfire are thrilled at the erection of a 50ft statute - uh, statue - of the Supreme Court rookie according to a leaky urinal in Capitol Hill. Located outside the Democratic Party’s DC he...

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The Senate will now recognize gallery patrons for fifteen minutes of screaming and shouting

After Senator’s remarks and before a final confirmation vote on Brett Kavanaugh’s appointment to the Supreme Court, in a new twist on Senate procedure, Vice President Mike Pence set aside fifteen minutes for comments from the Senate gallery. “The Se...

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Judge Kavanaugh Set To Quash Bill Cosby Conviction

Funny story: Judge Kavanaugh Set To Quash Bill Cosby Conviction

To celebrate his 'victory' in the Sexual Misconduct hearing against him, Judge Brett Kavanaugh has indicated that, as an act of goodwill, he intends to quash the guilty conviction against jailed comedian Bill Cosby, and set the funnyman free. Kava...

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Benghazi and Brett Kavanaugh

Funny story: Benghazi and Brett Kavanaugh

Two-year investigation on Benghazi at the cost of over eight million dollars, but only a four-day investigation on an accused sex offender, perjurer, and drunk who believes he is entitled to a chair on the Supreme Court. Ignore the forty witnesses who could have supported Dr. Christine Blasey Ford’s testimony, and give Kavanaugh a chair. A Kavanaugh chair to the Supreme Court is worse than 9/1...

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FBI Report on Kavanaugh gets Sir Speedy Award for 'no-stone-unturned' investigation

Funny story: FBI Report on Kavanaugh gets Sir Speedy Award for 'no-stone-unturned' investigation

Ordered to further investigate Mr. Kavanaugh over a six day period, the FBI is now up for the Sir Speedy DDI (“due diligence investigation”) Award for 2018. The award is reputed for its “no-stone-unturned” and “no-keg-ignored” approach to Supreme...

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If A Future Supreme Court Nominee Wiggles His Penis In A Woman's Face, But Nobody Sees It, Did It Really Happen?

Funny story: If A Future Supreme Court Nominee Wiggles His Penis In A Woman's Face, But Nobody Sees It, Did It Really Happen?

It's a real question. I mean, if he did, or, alternatively, if he didn't, how can we be sure? After all this time, how can it be proven conclusively one way or the other? Indeed, if we want to take things to their logical conclusion, how can ANYTHING be proven conclusively one way or the other? Once upon a time, testimony from 'respected upstanding members of the community', professional...

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Brett Kavanaugh Transforms Into The Hulk

Funny story: Brett Kavanaugh Transforms Into The Hulk

The floor of the Senate was the site of a series of astonishing superhero-related battles as Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh transformed into The Incredible Hulk before the astonished eyes of the assembled Senate Judiciary Committee and the new...

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Kavanaugh Accuser Has Ridiculous Pythonesque Name

Funny story: Kavanaugh Accuser Has Ridiculous Pythonesque Name

As yet another female accuser of Supreme Court nominee, Brett Kavanaugh, put her head up above the parapet over the weekend, the case took a decidedly-Pythonesque turn, when it was learned that the woman's name was Julia Swetnick. Monty Python's F...

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Sexual Misconduct Amongst Elderly More Popular Due To Kavanaugh Case

Funny story: Sexual Misconduct Amongst Elderly More Popular Due To Kavanaugh Case

Sexual misconduct amongst the over-75s is on the increase due to the extensive coverage of the case against beleaguered Supreme Court nominee, Brett Kavanaugh, it has been claimed. Hans Zimmerframe, a man who knows a lot of old people, said: "T...

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Nun steps forward from the old days to defend Judge Kavanaugh

Funny story: Nun steps forward from the old days to defend Judge Kavanaugh

Immediately following the Senate Judiciary Committee's confirmation of Mr. Kavanaugh, Senate investigators are urging caution. A new witness, Sister Rose, has appeared from the past, in support of Mr. Kavanaugh, and just in time for the complete...

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Kavanaugh Case In New Twist As British Actor Called As Witness

Funny story: Kavanaugh Case In New Twist As British Actor Called As Witness

The Brett Kavanaugh episode took an unexpected new twist this afternoon, when the besieged Supreme Court nominee called a character witness to appear before the Senate Judiciary Committee - British actor John Thaw (deceased), star of the 1991-1995 IT...

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“What do you like to drink, Senator?” question turns into country-wide enquiry by concerned citizens

Funny story: “What do you like to drink, Senator?” question turns into country-wide enquiry by concerned citizens

Republican senators on the Senate Judiciary Committee have denied that Mr. Kavanaugh was sipping alcohol during the hearing Thursday. That is, with his periodic need to refresh his throat with what might have been water (Ms. Ford was sipping from...

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Fearing Political Tsunami in November, Republicans Adopt New Approaches

Funny story: Fearing Political Tsunami in November, Republicans Adopt New Approaches

THE WIRED STREET URINAL REPORTER KR Schwartz DATELINE: September 27th 2018 Washington, D.C. Fearing Political Tsunami in November, Republicans Adopt New Approaches Feeling the mounting political pressure from constituents over the Senate Judi...

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Man Pleads Guilty To Sexual Misconduct In His Sleep

Funny story: Man Pleads Guilty To Sexual Misconduct In His Sleep

A man who has been accused of sexual misconduct whilst asleep, has admitted he is as guilty as the day is long. Bert Kavanagh, 32, a roadsweeper from Muncie, Indiana, told drinking buddies at the Bra Strap pub that, with regard to the charges that...

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So Kavanaugh’s A Flasher

Funny story: So Kavanaugh’s A Flasher

So Brett Kavanaugh is a serial flasher. So what’s the big deal? He can still sit on the bench and decide women’s health issues; when and if women should be allowed birth control; whether women should retain the right to vote, drive a car, wear shoes...

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Breaking news…

Trump Thinks Deaths at End of Avengers Infinity Wars Were Real

He sends the Secret Service to the movie set of Avengers 4 to do some investigating.
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