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Funny satire stories about Gambling

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Funny story: Did Anti-Gambling Group Sabotage Santa Anita's Track?

Did Anti-Gambling Group Sabotage Santa Anita's Track?

Arcadia, CA. - The death of over twenty horses this season at Santa Anita may be the work of Losers Anon., a vocal anti-gambling organization in Southern California. They have publicly taken credit for the deaths that caused cancellation of racing tw...

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Funny story: Trump Plans To Build Casinos Along Length Of Border

Trump Plans To Build Casinos Along Length Of Border

President Donald Trump today revealed details of his plans for the development of land in the border area with Mexico, plans which are dominated by the somewhat surprising intention to build a number of 'Supercasinos'. The casinos would, Trump say...

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Funny story: Gambling in Las Vegas or on our knees in the transept. Nuns just wanna have fun!

Gambling in Las Vegas or on our knees in the transept. Nuns just wanna have fun!

Two naughty nuns have been spotted gambling in Las Vegas on slot machines and Blackjack tables with money they slipped into their wimples. When asked by their boss, a Papal rep, where in "heaven's name" (get it?) did they get the money from and wh...

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Funny story: Man Got Dole And Went Straight To Las Vegas

Man Got Dole And Went Straight To Las Vegas

There was little sympathy for one man this week, when it was revealed he had received his dole cheque on Wednesday, and then headed straight for Las Vegas, where he spent the fucking lot! David Arsehole, 23, from Manchester, signed on at the Unemp...

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Funny story: Life Continues to Get “Bettor and Bettor” for Gambling Addict

Life Continues to Get “Bettor and Bettor” for Gambling Addict

Calvin Jones, a self-identified gambling addict, says that his life continues to get “bettor and bettor” as he continues to discover new and exciting things on which to wager. As a former semipro baseball player, Cal explained that he initially gr...

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Funny story: President-elect Trump to Become Honorary Scoutmaster

President-elect Trump to Become Honorary Scoutmaster

Special to TPN - Boy Scouts of America president Randall Stephenson announced that President-elect Donald Trump will become an honorary scoutmaster at the organization's National Jamboree to be held in July 2017. "Mr. Trump exemplifies all those...

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Funny story: New Government Study Shows Old Government Study was a Waste of Money

New Government Study Shows Old Government Study was a Waste of Money

A recent government study just concluded that the previous government study was a complete waste of money. Government scientists previously conducted a study on the gambling habits of monkeys, to see if the monkeys copied other monkeys betting habits...

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Funny story: The Transcendental Gambling Cult

The Transcendental Gambling Cult

Investors on Wall Street are turning in droves to a new cult that is sweeping America. Spokesman for Scientology Tom Cruise has said it should be banned outright. Officials of the Sri Swami Winner's cult called "Scientific Amerology" deny that it is a cult. They say it is a "natural philosophy" of the New Age that was incubated during the the 1960s Flower Power Movement in Los Angeles and has...

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Funny story: Man Forced to Pay Gambling Debt he owes from Parallel Universe

Man Forced to Pay Gambling Debt he owes from Parallel Universe

Clearwater, Florida guy, Sammy Dweeberson, spent a pretty uneventful life, up until now. His daily routine consisted of a shower and a nose shave, a breakfast of asparagus cookies, work at a candle manufacturing factory, a stop at a Popeye's on the...

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Funny story: Bookmakers Open Betting on Savile Inquiry

Bookmakers Open Betting on Savile Inquiry

NB:The following was written one day before Tony Blackburn got it in the neck from the Beeb. The Chief CEO at Chapbrooks betting firm is a retired army major. Our sports reporter at "U-R-FKD" magazine called around to see him to explain Chapbrooks...

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Funny story: The Case Against Recreation - Part 2: Gambling

The Case Against Recreation - Part 2: Gambling

GAMBLING The gambler's idea of having fun is playing a game and winning some money. But gambling is more of a sport than it is a form of entertainment, and like sports a player can win some games but most of the time they lose. And unlike a game of sports the losing player loses money, which is not a very entertaining. Those who think that it is entertaining are clinically diagnosed as bei...

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Funny story: Naughty MPs also using Computers for Porn and Gambling say dismissed Judges

Naughty MPs also using Computers for Porn and Gambling say dismissed Judges

Just as if things couldn't get any worse for the UK' s establishment after the dismissal of three judges for viewing pornography on business computers the other day, a recent audit of the House of Commons networks has uncovered similar misuse on 63 M...

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Funny story: Russell Brand's Democratic Lottery

Russell Brand's Democratic Lottery

Russell Brand is sick of the lottery being run purely by poncey squares, greedy plums and corrupt geezers, who cruelly and arbitrarily force people against their will to choose random numbers... In the vain hope that just on this one single, solit...

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Funny story: Sports Betting Good for Heart Health and Blood Pressure Says Las Vegas Casino Owners

Sports Betting Good for Heart Health and Blood Pressure Says Las Vegas Casino Owners

Las Vegas, NV Las Vegas casino owners concluded a study and released the findings today. They found that gambling on anything, but especially sports, is very therapeutic and has many benefits, including lowering the risk of heart attack, stroke, and...

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Funny story: First Ever Bookmaker Discovered

First Ever Bookmaker Discovered

ROME ITALY Archaeologists in Rome have unearthed the remains of what appears to have been the world's first known bookmaker. They have concluded from examining his sarcophagus remains that the man apparently had leapt to his death very possibly from...

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Funny story: Double-or-nothing Bet On Instant Replay Leads to State's Largest Reported Gambling Loss

Double-or-nothing Bet On Instant Replay Leads to State's Largest Reported Gambling Loss

Indian Head, OK - A man from Texas lost $424,000 last month after he placed a double-or-nothing bet on the instant replay of a March Madness college basketball game. The man was down $212,000 dollars when he placed the bet. It is the largest gamblin...

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Funny story: L'Wren Scott loved a roulette flutter but Lady Luck deserted her virtual craps table punts

L'Wren Scott loved a roulette flutter but Lady Luck deserted her virtual craps table punts

Los Angeles - An online spread betting website has published pictures of the late designer's $20,000 win at a Seizures Palace, Las Vegas roulette wheel on New Year's Eve 2005. Smiling L'Wren and her deadbeat philandering septuagenarian boyfriend M...

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