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Funny satire stories about Addiction

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Funny story: Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly, Was On Slippery Slope

Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly, Was On Slippery Slope

An old woman who swallowed a horse, acknowledged, shortly before her death, that the key to her demise was actually her initial decision to swallow a fly, something that, once she had done it, could not easily be undone, and she was hooked. The fl...

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Funny story: Britain's toilet addiction is out of control

Britain's toilet addiction is out of control

The toilet may appear to be an unassuming receptacle for our bodily waste, a friendly porcelain mouth ready to accept our vilest produce. Yet there are people for whom it can be dangerously addictive, to the point of obsession. Karen Jefferson, 47...

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Funny story: In Response to Opioid Crisis, Big Pharma Gets to Work on Developing Drugs that Can Be Taken All Day Every Day for Entire Lifetime without Fear of Addiction

In Response to Opioid Crisis, Big Pharma Gets to Work on Developing Drugs that Can Be Taken All Day Every Day for Entire Lifetime without Fear of Addiction

Facing criticism and high-stakes lawsuits from consumers alleging that drug companies intentionally hid the addiction risks of opioids, Big Pharma has announced that it’s gotten to work on developing new painkilling medications that can be taken all...

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Funny story: Recovering Alcoholic 9/11 Truth Activist Can't Understand Why His Online Dating Profile Not Working for Him

Recovering Alcoholic 9/11 Truth Activist Can't Understand Why His Online Dating Profile Not Working for Him

Kip Bartlow of Kansas City, Missouri, was confident that his refreshingly authentic online dating profile highlighting his courageous recovery from drug and alcohol addiction and his interest in probing deeper into the events behind the collapse of t...

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Funny story: Nashville Musician Determined to Face His (Possible) Alcohol Issues

Nashville Musician Determined to Face His (Possible) Alcohol Issues

No longer willing to live in denial, Harry Platt, a professional steel guitar player living in Nashville, Tennessee, says that he is determined to face his (possible) issues with alcohol. “There have been a few red flags,” said Platt, who noted th...

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Funny story: Man Is Addicted To Tea

Man Is Addicted To Tea

A man who likes drinking tea has told friends that he so much likes drinking tea, that he fears he is now addicted to it. Myke Woodson has been drinking tea since he was around 4 years old, starting with a single brew after his evening meal - iron...

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Funny story: Nashville Fly Finally Finds a Place to Rest

Nashville Fly Finally Finds a Place to Rest

Living in a hectic world in which many pride themselves on being so busy that there’ll be “no flies resting on them” has made for rather a tough row to hoe for Nashville fly, Freddie Diptera. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m busy, too,” said Freddie. "I'...

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Funny story: Life Continues to Get “Bettor and Bettor” for Gambling Addict

Life Continues to Get “Bettor and Bettor” for Gambling Addict

Calvin Jones, a self-identified gambling addict, says that his life continues to get “bettor and bettor” as he continues to discover new and exciting things on which to wager. As a former semipro baseball player, Cal explained that he initially gr...

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Funny story: Neurologist: Millions Afflicted With "Tweetism"

Neurologist: Millions Afflicted With "Tweetism"

Hundreds of Millions of people around the globe have a new modern illness called Diminished Intellectual Capacity and Knowledge Starvation or DICKS for short. Tweetism, however seems to be the popular handle for the newly named illness, and as the na...

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Funny story: Drug Addicts Fund A Kick-Starter Account To Free El Chapo

Drug Addicts Fund A Kick-Starter Account To Free El Chapo

Everytown, U.S.A - Coke heads, crack heads, pill freaks and heroin junkies have all banded together in support of freeing their beloved El Chapo, the Mexican drug lord, from prison, by opening a Kick-Starter page. "Our goal is to raise enough mone...

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Funny story: Lois Lane, Clark Kent Advocate For Clean Needle Exchange

Lois Lane, Clark Kent Advocate For Clean Needle Exchange

In the past, conservatives successfully pushed Congress to prohibit federal dollars from being used to distribute sterile syringes to intravenous drug users. Now, with a severe outbreak of H.I.V. and hepatitis due to a surge in heroin use in states...

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Funny story: New warning to Scotland's parents - shock 'substance' abuse heads north

New warning to Scotland's parents - shock 'substance' abuse heads north

Health Scotland, Police Scotland and Mars Confectionery issued a joint warning to Scotland's parents and teenagers last night as fears grow around a new substance abuse crisis sweeping large areas of the central belt in Scotland. Teens and pasty face...

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Funny story: Teenage girl puts down smartphone, grabs book

Teenage girl puts down smartphone, grabs book

A Chicago-area teenage girl, who, according to her parents, hasn't put down her smartphone in 4 years, recently put her device down and picked up a book. "I was shocked," said the girl's father, Neil Withers, about the seeing his daughter with a...

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Funny story: Nation's Poor Smoking More Crack Due To Pot Price Peak

Nation's Poor Smoking More Crack Due To Pot Price Peak

A new research study out today shows that the nations poor, as defined by poverty rates, are smoking more crack than ever now that legal pot prices are souring! "I can't even afford a roach now" said 22 year old stoner Cody Nevins. "Crack is by far t...

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Funny story: The Cell Cycle: Development of a Productive Life

The Cell Cycle: Development of a Productive Life

Life begins when the alarm of my fully charged cell phone shouts, "Hit snooze, hit snooze! Just five more minutes. Sleeping five more minutes won't hurt anyone. Trust me, I'll wake you up again." Five minutes later, my cell phone, Ringo, screams, "It's time, time to open your eyes and do something productive. Get up, get dressed, get ready now!" Ringo is my best friend. He reminds me to do t...

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Funny story: Fighting Healthcare Addiction

Fighting Healthcare Addiction

It's that time of year when companies ask their employees to sign up for another year of benefits like healthcare and dental care. As the GOP has been discussing, it is easy for Americans to become addicted to "the sugar" of healthcare. Most empl...

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Funny story: Community Outreach Programs Established Nationwide To Help "Breaking Bad" Fans Cope With Withdrawals From Favorite T.V. Show

Community Outreach Programs Established Nationwide To Help "Breaking Bad" Fans Cope With Withdrawals From Favorite T.V. Show

BREAKING BAD aired its final episode over the weekend, leaving many fans, desperate, alone, and distraught. Outreach programs are being set up throughout the nation to ease woes. "We see this as a time to really put our best foot forward and he...

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