Written by Aspartame Boy

Sunday, 7 January 2018

image for Crypto and fiat currencies to be replaced with Funny Money
"Like I always say, girls just want to have fun."

London, England - The Queen, according to her Minister of Finance, has grown tired of gold and silver. Too heavy. Fiat currencies. Too numerous. Crypto currencies. Too cumbersome.

As revealed to the FT by Lord Stinkenbottom, Finance Minister, a New Proclamation governs the Empire.

She has proclaimed the new legal tender, the new coin of the relm, the new object of adoration, the new bushel of wheat, the New Mammon.

It's Funny Money.

The Queen is bored. The golden coach is nice but way too heavy and slow. Now the Queen just wants to have fun. Already the owner of literally everything, she needs a good laugh, all the way to the bank.

All money shall be replaced with Royal Funny Money. On the back of each bill, all of which are worth exactly one laugh, is a serial number and a phone number.

The bills can be used to pay taxes and debts or cashed in, for a good laugh.

For example if a dotard has an excessive accumulation of these bills, he can call the phone number. Then a real person will answer and ask for the serial number of the bill.

If the serial number was already used by someone else, the phone line disconnects.

Otherwise a joke is read to the caller who is then told to burn the bill, using it for fuel, on the honor system. The Queen does not care if people screw each other by not complying.

Finally the caller hears the cackling laugh of the Queen as the phone disconnects.

The joke varies from time to time but usually ends with the question "Did you really think this money was worth something?", followed by roaring laughter.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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