Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Thursday, 22 March 2018


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Wile E Mueller: "Trump Runner Tied to Russian Anvil Company"

BILLINGSGATE POST: In the beginning there was nothing. In the middle there was nothing. And after over one year later, there is still nothing. And nothing pisses off Wile E Mueller more than hearing the MEEP MEEP! of the pesty Trump Runner as he breaks the desert silence with his victory song. Just moments after another misdirected ACME ANVIL once again falls on the bewildered Mueller, the Trump Runner, who seems to never tire of winning, churns off into the horizon.

The Trump Runner reflects:

“ACME ANVILS, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of ACME ANVILS in the morning.”

The Wile E one cannot stand this pomposity anymore. There has to be a chink in the Trump Runner’s feathers. He wonders to himself; “Does that sum bitch have a connection with the Ruskies?”

Picking himself up once more, after his perfectly drawn plan to hammer the Trump Runner with a specially armed RAT F..K (S-44) ACME Gravity Powered ANVIL fails to hit its intended target, he decides that he has had enough.

WILE E: “Vladimir, old friend. You got some shit on the Trump Runner?”

VLAD: “Wile E.....How’s it feel to take another anvil in the shorts from the Trump Runner?”

WILE E: “ Not good, dude. I need your help.”

VLAD: "What's up, Wile E?"

WILE E: "Gotta connect some dots. Are you guys supplying the Trump Runner with the RAT F**K (S-44) ACME Gravity Powered Anvil?

VLAD: "Wish we were. My boys have been trying to break the code on that anvil for the past 3 years. Security is tighter than Hillary's closet server. Sorry I can't help you." ...Click

In the Sonora Desert, where only the Saguaro Cactus and the Trump Runner can thrive, Wile E Mueller wistfully gathers himself. With his eyes still dull from the pounding of a hit from his RAT F**K (S-44) ACME Gravity Powered Anvil that reversed course on him once again, he breaks the silence of the night:

"You sum bitch! You can't dodge me forever. I'm gonna get you sooner or later."


The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
47 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more