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Funny satire stories about Robert Mueller

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Funny story: How Slim Everdingle Gave James Comey The Quasimodo Shuffle: Part 2

How Slim Everdingle Gave James Comey The Quasimodo Shuffle: Part 2

BILLINGSGATE POST: Everdingle was wearing his standard issue Dickies Short Sleave Mechanics Coveralls with a V-Neck, Fruit-Of-The-Loom white tee shirt underneath. A 9mm Heckler & Koch MPS sub-machine gun was strapped to his thigh. With his tailo...

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Funny story: How Slim Everdingle Gave James Comey The Quasimodo Shuffle: Part 1

How Slim Everdingle Gave James Comey The Quasimodo Shuffle: Part 1

BILLINGSGATE POST: The metronomic ticking of the time bomb that would provide kaleidoscopic evidence that the FBI was colluding with the Russians was forcing Special Agent Slim Everdingle into making a virtual Hobson’s Choice; whether to go with his...

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Funny story: Trump Orders Mueller Have His Gums Painted Purple For Lying

Trump Orders Mueller Have His Gums Painted Purple For Lying

BILLINGSGATE POST: Like a demented rat (genus Rattus) munching on cream cheese with rubber-tipped teeth, so that no one might hear him, Special Counsel Robert Mueller mealy-mouthed his way through two House committee hearings last week. Mueller,...

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Funny story: Mueller will adapt “I’m-loathe-to-get-into-that” comment for new plumbing and cleaning business

Mueller will adapt “I’m-loathe-to-get-into-that” comment for new plumbing and cleaning business

Intelligence agencies are expressing their admiration of the frequency of Mr. Mueller’s recent “I’m loathe to get into that” statements at a congressional hearing this week. Mueller avoided questions some 200 times in recent questioning before co...

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Funny story: Robert Mueller Does Back Flips All the Way To Limo

Robert Mueller Does Back Flips All the Way To Limo

After his long day of testimony drew to a collusion, er conclusion. Robert Mueller stood lookIng like a tired man. He then walked to the aisle, turned toward the Chair and slowly raised his arms high in the air. What happened next was astounding,...

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Funny story: Mueller hides behind couch after whipping

Mueller hides behind couch after whipping

Washington ‘Swamp’ D.C. - CSPANT Cable News Nutwork reports that Mule-Error received a cruel horse-whipping early this morning. Reportedly, he won’t be able to sit for weeks. Southern plantation slave owners abused the poor old crime-hound until he...

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Funny story: Adam Schiff calls for investigation of God-gate

Adam Schiff calls for investigation of God-gate

Yesterday, spectators at the Copenhagen Democracy Summit 2019 were startled by a Skype call, supposedly from Mr. Trump. During a panel discussion, Nick Clegg, Facebook’s Head of Global Affairs, appeared to receive the call. “No one loves democr...

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Funny story: Trump Cites Poindexter Effect As Cause Of Britain’s Failure In World Cup

Trump Cites Poindexter Effect As Cause Of Britain’s Failure In World Cup

BILLINGSGATE POST: Historically, the Poindexter Effect has long been cited by pundits as the primary reason for Great Britain’s failure to win a World Cup since it defeated West Germany in 1966 for its lone championship in the tournament history. Lo...

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Funny story: Barr and Mueller flee to Saudi Arabia

Barr and Mueller flee to Saudi Arabia

Mr. Barr and Mr. Mueller have left the country. Insider analysis puts these gentlemen at a resort called Mar Al Lago East—southeast Saudi Arabia, in the Rub’ Al Khali desert area, somewhat out of earshot of the war in Yemen. Mr. Barr has been p...

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Funny story: Trump Pardons Racehorse, Blames Robert Mueller As Maximum Security Bombs

Trump Pardons Racehorse, Blames Robert Mueller As Maximum Security Bombs

Louisville, Kentucky - Racecourse stewards ‘in league with Special Counsel Robert Mueller’ likely robbed 9-2 Kentucky Derby pick Maximum Security of victory, a presidential spokesperson said today. Trump reportedly lost a packet backing the Jason...

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Funny story: Mueller Report Released, With Redactions

Mueller Report Released, With Redactions

Anticipation is building towards the release of Robert Mueller’s report on interaction between the Donald Trump campaign and Russia. Will the report show collusion between the future president and a hostile foreign power? Many Democrats believe so, w...

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Funny story: Elderlies annoyed with reports on what they’re thinking about following demise

Elderlies annoyed with reports on what they’re thinking about following demise

Starting with an article in Newsweek magazine yesterday, a wave of irritation and protest has surged throughout the elderly community. The Newsweek headline: “Elderly Americans are dying without getting to read Mueller’s report and they’re not...

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Funny story: Barr Seizing All Leaked Copies of Unredacted Mueller Report

Barr Seizing All Leaked Copies of Unredacted Mueller Report

Capitol Hill. Washington, D. C. A week after whistleblower Etaoin Shrdlu announced that he had leaked the unredacted Mueller Report to congress and the media, no one has received a copy. There is a growing concern among Democrats that Attorney Genera...

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Funny story: MSNBC's Copy of Unredacted Mueller Report a Hoax?

MSNBC's Copy of Unredacted Mueller Report a Hoax?

Ottawa, Canada. Speaking by phone from the Venezuelan embassy in Ottawa to Fox commentator Sean Hannity, Etaoin Shrdlu, who claims to have leaked the complete unredacted Mueller Report to congress and the media, denied that the copy read and displaye...

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Funny story: Unredacted Mueller Report Reaches MSNBC

Unredacted Mueller Report Reaches MSNBC

Rockefeller Plaza, NYC. As Brian Williams was about to begin "The 11th Hour" program tonight, a messenger from an unidentified delivery service dropped off a sealed manuscript sent by Etaoin Shrdlu, the alleged leaker of the unredacted Mueller Report...

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Funny story: Mueller Doubts Unredacted Report Leaked

Mueller Doubts Unredacted Report Leaked

Washington, D. C. In a sharp response to a reporter's question regarding an alleged leak of his report on Trump's connections with the Russians in 2016, special counsel Robert Mueller vigorously denied that Etaoin Shrdlu or anyone else could have rel...

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Funny story: Whistleblower Releases Unredacted Mueller Report

Whistleblower Releases Unredacted Mueller Report

Etaoin Shrdlu, the linotype operator on the Robert Mueller team, has taken asylum in the Venezuelan embassy in Ottawa following his announcement that he has set in motion the release of an unredacted copy of the final report that Mueller delivered to...

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