President Trump replaces all Cabinet Positions with mirrors

Written by StubbornGorilla

Friday, 16 March 2018


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image for President Trump replaces all Cabinet Positions with mirrors
The new Secretary of Transportation mirror takes a break from watching president Trump stare at himself

"It's the best decision I've ever made. The best... and that's saying something, because all of my ideas are amazing!"

That's how the president explained his new decision to end the never-ending cycle of high profile position turnover amongst his staff and solve the problem once and for all.

With his new concept the president now has a specific mirror labeled for each cabinet position manned by a female secretary. When the president wishes to discuss a specific topic the administrator is responsible for wheeling in the correct mirror and presenting it in the most appealing way possible for Trump.

By all accounts the president is thrilled with the new concept and has been much happier at work.

"Most of the yelling has been replaced by the president winking and pointing at his reflection, so it has been much calmer in the White House since the change," Candy McLeggins, the administrator responsible for the Secretary of State mirror explained.

There have been reports that the transition has not gone quite as smoothly as the president has suggested.

"Usually after about three sentences he kind of just trails off and starts primping his hair," one unnamed admin admitted. "Its either that or he just starts staring at my boobs saying "humina, humina" over and over again."

The problem seems to vary from admin to admin. Henrietta Moaningsgood, the administrator responsible for the Agricultural Secretary mirror (which has been renamed the McDonalds Secretary, because the president had trouble equating agriculture to food) is a former Barker's Beauty from The Price is Right, and has found a solution that helps to keep the president on task.

"From my game show days, I'm used to gesturing toward the prizes," Henrietta explained. "I always place my arm in front of my breasts when I'm drawing attention to the mirror. That seems to help him maintain his concentration for at least a couple more minutes than with most of the girls."

The other problem that White House staff has come across is making sure that they have a mirror for each necessary cabinet position. Apparently, president Trump's lack of understanding and knowledge of who he needs has caused some problems as explained by an anonymous staff member.

"Although, we have to admit the mirror is probably a step up from the current Secretary of Education, the president never remembers that the Secretary of Education actually exists."

There also are some glaring omissions that everyone on staff just forgot. Everyone just assumed that the Secretary of the Interior was just an administrator for Melania's interior decorator. Also, there was no sign of a Secretary for HUD, but there were two inexplicable Secretary of Hair and Secretary of Makeup mirrors that were found.

Overall, most people that are still around the White see this new arrangement as a huge upgrade.

"The president is much happier," one staff member stated, "and the more time he spends mooning over himself in the mirror or staring at his secretaries, the less time he's going to be screwing things up so I'm all for it!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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