Trump to bring ejected Russian spies back to the US

Written by Keith Shirey

Friday, 30 December 2016

image for Trump to bring ejected Russian spies back to the US

President Obama struck back at Russia yesterday for its efforts to influence the 2016 election, ejecting 35 KGB Russian intelligence operatives from the United States and imposing sanctions on Russia's two leading intelligence services.

In response, President-Elect Trump tweeted that, after his inauguration, he would welcome the 35 Russian spies back into the U.S. and lift the sanctions. Trump said, "These KGB are my best friend Putin's boys and could never mean any harm to the U.S.," said Mr. Trump.

"After they return to U.S. I will invite the Russian intelligence operatives to Mar-a-Lago, my estate in Palm Beach, for a beautiful feast. It will essentially be the same menu that Governor Romney ate with me when I humiliated him by dangling before him the possibility of his being Secretary of State," said the President-Elect.

The menu: For the appetizer lamb backbone skewers; for the prime course broken pasta shells with vinegar reduction and Dasani; the second course is Fazia Farms blackened crow with battered sweetbreads and spirit evaporate; and for the desert, two muddled cherries with stunted banana, dusted with crushed nuts.

"Of course, there will be plenty of vodka and I'll instruct my chefs to eliminate the crow that Mitt ate and substitute cornish game hen. Too, I will ask the Russian spies for an intelligence briefing," said Trump.

The President-Elect went on to say that he preferred Russian intelligence to that of the U.S.' because the "CIA lied big time about Russia hacking into the Presidential election. That was nasty, very nasty," said the President-Elect.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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