After playing board games with OAP's in an OAP home dressed in a bib and plastic apron, Boris Johnson, UK, PM, refused to be filmed being spoon-fed because it would have damaged his drivelling image further!
However, after the fab PR shoot promoting his latest care package, a nurse feeding the over eighties, with a spoon, admitted BOJO demanded to be spoon-fed too, and he dribbled whilst having porridge shoved down his throat.
After the PR shoot was finished, BBC star health reporter, Hugh Pym, interviewed Boris hoping he could tell the nation in a stirring Churchill manner how his latest swindle will benefit the whole UK ageing and sick population.
Here is the interview:
Hugh Pym: "Boris ol Bean, your latest care package will hopefully finance the NHS and help old grannies not having to flog their houses to pay for their care. it that true?"
BOJO: "Hugh you cad, well, grump, grump, cough, cough, stutter, stutter, dribble, dribble, it's all in our manifesto old boy!"
Hugh Pym: "But Boris ol Chap, you have broken the promises in your manifesto, do you admit to that?"
BOJO: "Splutter, splutter, fart, fart, dribble, dribble (non-Ronaldo type), burp, burp, don't ask me, I am going demented and remember nothing!"
Hugh Pym: "But Boris you are our leader, can we rely on you to refinance our ailing NHS, give enough money to the aged, so they do not have to flog their houses, and spend all their hard-earned savings on care?"
BOJO: "Hugh, you are a dastardly rascal old chap, ask old Moggy, he knows everything better than I do, splutter, splutter, burp, burp, and Brexit, yes! Now what was the question?"
At that moment, a nurse was standing in the wings with a bowl of warm Weetabix, a bib, and a plastic apron waiting to spoon feed the PM.
Hugh Pym: "Well I guess that's the interview for today, Boris, feeding time!"
BOJO: "Snort, snort, drivel, drivel, gobbledygook, gobbledygook, burp, burp, yes Hugh old chap, a PM also needs his nourishment. Oh BTW, ask that dashing Priti Patel, she's a smasher, she lets me spank her bum too, and will keep UK shores free of pestilence arriving in tiny boats from France! Tiddly Poo!"
Well, you mob voted for him and now you get what you get, a Winston Churchill cardboard effigy without brains!