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Northern England to be left to decay into wild forest

Funny story: Northern England to be left to decay into wild forest

The UK government has announced a bold new plan for the North of England. Instead of adapting to a post-industrial world, it is to be abandoned and left for weeds and trees to come back. Prime Minister Theresa May explained the decision at a press...

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Southgate V Slovenia

England's managerial waterboy, Gareth Southgate, has sensationally admitted that "some if not all" of his current squad don't deserve to be there! England are scheduled to play Slovenia tonight and Gareth is obviously worried about the threat the...

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Emu Brexits!

A large Emu has being spotted at large in woods near Cambridge and the discovery has Brexitiers up in arms! Woods, normally home to good strong British animals such as foxes and badgers, are becoming over saturated with foreign looking birds.

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American Plans First Vacation to Europe: Wonders if it will be a letdown like Mount Rushmore.

Funny story: American Plans First Vacation to Europe: Wonders if it will be a letdown like Mount Rushmore.

West Bend, IN, U.S. (Reuters) Michael Barnett, an electrical engineer from West Bend, Indiana, and his wife, Christy, have planned a vacation to Europe after 22 years of marriage. Christy Barnett posted to her Facebook page a video of her reaction w...

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Border controls sharpened and barbed wire put on Hadrian's wall to stop Scot invasion!

Funny story: Border controls sharpened and barbed wire put on Hadrian's wall to stop Scot invasion!

English custom's authorities, police and military are on red alert after a border invasion of ginger-headed (Not Harry he's got other problems), kilt wearing, whisky smelling, bagpipe playing Scots entered the country today in seek of revenge! OK,...

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Theresa May's Inaugural Speech Leaked

Funny story: Theresa May's Inaugural Speech Leaked

Theresa May in anticipation of becoming Britain's next Prime Minister sent a copy of her inaugural speech to her friend Hillary Clinton which is how we managed to get it. Here it is in full. "Mister Speaker, honourable ladies and gentlemen. There...

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Protests grow in aftermath of Euro exit

There was fury last night when it emerged that England's entire Euro 16 squad (with the exception of Jack Wilshere) have been refused Personal Independence Payment (PIP). Manager Roy Hodgson resigned in disgust, with a close friend claiming, "Roy...

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English Thug Punches Bag of Crisps at Euro 2016

Funny story: English Thug Punches Bag of Crisps at Euro 2016

Following substantial unrest in Marseille and Lille, the scourge of English football hooliganism has reared its ugly head again in the city of Arras, Pas De Calais. The unsavoury incident occurred at approximately 11:15am in the central Leader Pri...

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Most Brits Would Rather Call Their EU Exit 'Leavey McLeave Face!'

Funny story: Most Brits Would Rather Call Their EU Exit 'Leavey McLeave Face!'

Britain, U.K. - After casting millions of votes to name England's new oceanic research vessel Boaty McBoat Face, and then being denied the name by those in charge of naming boats and stuff, most british citizens would now like to stop using the word...

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Jacko and Feducious T. are on a trek to grab ahold of the 'world's perfect beer glass'

Funny story: Jacko and Feducious T. are on a trek to grab ahold of the 'world's perfect beer glass'

My friend and neighbor Jacko and my old English Comp teacher Feducious T. Flynt stopped by the other day and informed me they were on a sojourn for what they considered to be the quest for the holy grail. "We're taking a road trip, then we'll be t...

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Cameron On The New World Order

Funny story: Cameron On The New World Order

In line with the current ruling on anti-Semitism which applies also to Jews, especially Non-Zionist Jews who can think for themselves, UK Prime Minister David Cameron decreed yesterday to a packed House of Commons that "anti-Americanism" be also out...

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Motorway signs are all lies

Funny story: Motorway signs are all lies

The warning signs seen across British motorways are written entirely by compulsive liars, it has emerged. Signs such as "Queue Ahead" and "Obstruction in carriageway" simply aren't true. A spokesperson for the British Highways has admitted "We...

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The Spoof nails it again - Rowling announces yet another Potter

Funny story: The Spoof nails it again - Rowling announces yet another Potter

And who among the Sheeple-Gullibles thought the boys in charge had closed up their Potter Goldmine, thrown away the keys and gone home? Those business shrewdies at the black heart of Harry Potter for which Rowling is but the front? Bloomsbury, Schola...

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Conservative Party Manifesto 2015

Funny story: Conservative Party Manifesto 2015

(Or, actually what Cameron meant to say but didn't, being the gentleman that he is and everything.) "Over the last five years, we have placed our country, according to our business partners' demands, in the U.S. and elsewhere, under total bureaucr...

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Interview With UK Prime Minister David Cameron

Funny story: Interview With UK Prime Minister David Cameron

Unfortunately we at URFKD Magazine were unable to meet with the UK Prime Minister David Cameron as planned. It seems he had more important engagements. However, here is a list of questions we were hoping to ask. (1) Given the fact that you are goi...

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England ban smoking in cars (Well suck my exhaust!)

Funny story: England ban smoking in cars (Well suck my exhaust!)

CIA HQ reporting from a dilapidated council flat in downtown Moss Side, Manchester - Newsflash: Smoking in cars to be banned in England! CIA health reporter, Ciggy Tarlung-Woodbine, has sent this report from the back of a Ford Cortina with a smokey past parked up in Moss Side, a no-go-smoke-free-zone The ministry of health has decided to ban smoking in cars in England from October 2015, they...

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England Begins to Pay Concessions to Scotland

Funny story: England Begins to Pay Concessions to Scotland

Glasgow, Scotland As part of the agreement made to keep Scotland in the United Kingdom, the British Royal Family arrived in Glasgow today dressed in kilts, reciting Robert Bruce poetry and playing bagpipes. "I am told the family is especially war...

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Britons Vote Out Prince Charles as Next King

Funny story: Britons Vote Out Prince Charles as Next King

London, England In a strongly anticipated move, the entire British Commonwealth voted to bypass Prince Charles in favor of his son, Prince William. "Charles is just so stodgy, he will have the whole British Empire asleep before he is even half-way...

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