Johnson actually sacks someone

Funny story written by Jim Skinz

Thursday, 19 August 2021

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First sacking of many? No chance, say critics

British prime minister Boris Johnson has shocked the political world by actually sacking someone: his cleaner.

Following controversies involving foreign secretary Dominic Raab, home secretary Priti Patel, and pretty much everyone else in the cabinet, Johnson said enough was enough and has parted company with the staff member.

"This place has been a tip for too long," he told reporters, who were unable to decide whether he was talking about the Conservative party or his flat.

"I've had to bite the bullet and sack my cleaner. There was no alternative. Nappies everywhere, takeaway boxes all over the place, empty bottles of Chateau Lafite Rothschild 1994 covering the floor."

Asked whether the move might make him more likely to actually fire a minister, Johnson stated: "Erm, well, we've...Right, I'm off."

The sacked cleaner, Ermentrude Byzantine, 23, refused to comment

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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