"We will be forever grateful to Nigel Farage and that one meeting he attended while sitting on the EU's fisheries committee for eight years. If he hadn't been on our side we would have been sold down the river. He fully deserves his £75,000 pa EU pen…
A new law spells the end of uncontrolled magnet fishing in Britain’s canals and rivers. The sport has grown rapidly in recent years, with experienced anglers (known as ‘maglers’) landing catches including swords, shotguns, safes and even parking mete…
Gary Thatcher Hogbottom, a single man of considerable means, is confused as to why the photos he puts up on Firestarter.web get him no attention from the opposite gender. 'I put up photos of all of the fish I catch,' said the balding, portly forty...
There was great excitement in Scotland earlier this afternoon, when an entirely new species of Brown Trout was discovered in Loch Laidon on Rannoch Moor on the border of Argyll and Bute, and Perthshire. There are already four other species of bro...
As I dropped my line with live shrimp in the water my thought was not to catch fish, it was to catch a dream. Somewhere between romantic ideals and notions I had found something with someone years ago and still they kept me going. Even though they were distant from me now, it was still as if I just needed to reach and grasp them and I could be on my way again. She appeared behind me in the dark...
Aussie ageing pensioner, Ray Johnstone, went searching for a new "hooker mate" over the internet after his previous "hooking mate" passed away leaving him alone to go hooking. He felt so lonely in his fishing boat that he sent out a message via an...
"My weight is nobody's business but mine," huffed the lobster, in an interview with a reporter from The Spoof. The lobster continued, "It's an outrage. How would you like it if YOUR weight were the subject of discussion the world over?" And he's appalled at all the fat shaming on social media since he's been caught and brought onto land, "Why can't people just mind their own business?" he aske...
Royal Navy manoeuvres involving aerial military "drops" were completed this week according to plan despite the farcical behaviour of a small number of rickety Spanish boats. Having to be shepherded away for their own safety, the humiliated Spanish "p...
PORT ISAAC, CORNWALL - Exciting news from the set of Doc Martin. According to people who are close to the set, in Season 7, Doc Martin will leave Louiser after realizing Mrs. Tishell is, in fact, more his type. Louiser, meanwhile, takes off to...
Phil Robertson, elder and spokesman for the "Duck Dynasty" family has reacted to an article actress, singer Linsay Lohan where she allegedly called them a bunch of redneck swamp freaks. "From what I have read and talked with others, apparently t...
BROOKLYN - The head of one of New York City's largest crime families, Salvatore Goombalini has sent a message to Alec "The Brat" Baldwin. Goombalini made it very clear to Mr. Baldwin that the ten Goombalini brothers have had enough of his diva-lik...
JACKSON, Mississippi - The senate of the state of Mississippi has just voted down a very controversial proposal. State Senator Roy LeRoy Witchboro [R-Pascagoula] spoke with National Focus Magazine and said that the debate on banning condoms within...
Miley Cyrus needed a break so her dad, Billy Ray decided to go home to northern Kentucky and go on a three-day fishing and camping trip. Of course, they did allow me, a reporter for $tat$, to go with them and use the photographs for a Family Type article. After the first day, they didn't catch a thing and, although Billy took it in stride, Miley seemed upset. "Look at that guy, Pops. Hey,...
JACKSON, Mississippi - The Mississippi senate has just passed a bill that makes it illegal for anyone to shoot catfish with a shotgun. State Senator Roy LeRoy Witchboro, 64, [R-Pascagoula] informed the news media that the bill passed by a vote of...
Aug 2, 2013, was a historic day in Ashland, WI, when seniors in a breakfast diner learned about the iPhone. The story of an iPhone in the diner was quite a shock to the local retired residents. "What's an iPhone?", asked George Bodin. The you...
PASCAGOULA, Mississippi - Long time Mississippi Game Warden Jefferson Jackson Boothbarker reported that a local fisherman identified as Tibideaux "Tibby" Figginfaust has just caught one of the most amazing catfish in the history of catfish catching.
Toledo, OH - At the end of a long day on Toledo Bend Lake with very little luck, master baiter Sam Bigton finally caught the winning fish of the day at the annual statewide competition. After three hours of struggling with a 36" Black Bass, he won th...
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