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Britannia's bid to become a man left in ruins

Funny story: Britannia's bid to become a man left in ruins

It has been over two years now since the UK's referendum on whether national symbol Britannia should remain a woman, or should become a man. The vote for the sex change narrowly won, but still we are no closer to seeing her with a cock and balls.

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The Emergency Emergency Budget

*Warning May Contain Strong Language* Smug Tory fuck bag, Phillip Hammond, has admitted he’s preparing a “emergency budget” if Theresa May lives up to her early promise and sends Britain crashing out of the EU with “no deal”. Sources close to P...

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Cannibals To Be Looked After Post-Brexit With Stockpiling of Human Body Parts

Funny story: Cannibals To Be Looked After Post-Brexit With Stockpiling of Human Body Parts

People who eat people will "not be forgotten about" after Brexit, sources say. Following the revelations earlier this year from Brexit minister Dominic Raaaaab that the Government is stockpiling food and medicine in case of a No Deal, it has now b...

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Brexiteers' Plans Finally Revealed: A Spoof Exclusive

Funny story: Brexiteers' Plans Finally Revealed: A Spoof Exclusive

He's been reviled as a Man With No Plan, but the ideas for a successful Brexit of buffoon and failed politician Bozo Johnson along with those of his tax-avoiding wealthy, gold-plated pension cronies, Jacob Rees-Smug, David "Dumbo" Davis, Dr Liar Fox...

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Brexit Means Breakdown

Funny story: Brexit Means Breakdown

Following the Salzburg summit rebuffal and being handed her ass on Instagram by the EU President, Theresa May came back fighting this week in the typical British way - with a strongly worded statement. After she was left looking like a wally, much...

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Thoughts from The Right

Theresa May has frozen talks with the EU over Brexit as EU leaders have again put obstacles in the way of her finest hour. European fat cats have once again stopped Theresa from “cherry picking” which EU principles she wants the UK to be involved wit...

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Brexit Analysis Impossible Until After Brexit, Claims Man Who Only Reads Sports Pages

Funny story: Brexit Analysis Impossible Until After Brexit, Claims Man Who Only Reads Sports Pages

The consequences, ramifications, and repercussions of Britain leaving the European Union cannot, and will not, be known until after the event has happened, claims a man who knows absolutely fuck all about economics. Moys Kenwood, 55, said that, as...

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TV Attack

According to new mindblowing (but not much else) research, “TV Sets kill your sex life”. Like any normal wide-eyed, shouty Brexiteer, we didn’t bother reading the story, we just asked random people for their reactions to the unfolding drama. Fred...

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Avoid Hard Border By Bringing It Inland says Rees-Mog

Funny story: Avoid Hard Border By Bringing It Inland says Rees-Mog

With Brexit now only six months away and the Irish border question still unresolved, the Jacob Rees-Mog mob have came up with a cunning plan to address it. The minister for the 18th Century is leading an absolutely vital think tank called The Eu...

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Northern Ireland border to be controlled by invisible leprechauns!

Funny story: Northern Ireland border to be controlled by invisible leprechauns!

Brexit has obviously caused many problems, both within the EU borders and the UK, and these problems need to be solved before the UK floats uncontrollably into the Atlantic Ocean. Great political intellectuals (cough, cough) are busy attempting to...

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Boris the Brat swipes again!

Now the Conservative party is ripping itself apart over Brexit, criticism of Boris the Brat is reaching seismic proportions. And yet: criticising Johnson is like treading water in the Dead Sea. Whatever way you do it, you can't fail. But you don't ge...

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Operation YellowHammer waiting in the Brexit wings

Secret plans to cut public spending and increase the suffocating grip of austerity round the throat of the UK were leaked today. The plans codenamed “Operation Yellowhammer” will come into force if Britain leaves the EU with a “no deal” agreement. Th...

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Bozo Trots Out Usual Bollocks In Vain Attempt to be Relevant

Funny story: Bozo Trots Out Usual Bollocks In Vain Attempt to be Relevant

The Daily Telegraph was once a serious newspaper but is now reduced to having a front page spread featuring a serial liar and idiot. Monday's edition had emblazoned upon it Bozo Johnson's self-satisfied face as he once again trotted out his usual gu...

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Confessions of a Brexit Voter

Funny story: Confessions of a Brexit Voter

At the time I knew what I wanted. It was 23rd June 2016 and I was in the polling booth. There it was in black and white before me "Should the United Kingdom remain a member of the European Union or leave the European Union?" I wanted what Nigel and Boris had told me: I wanted to escape the shackles of the undemocratic EU, even though we have a vote on everything in the European parliament.

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Corbyn slammed for not mocking woman who can't dance

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn is facing fierce criticism from across the political spectrum for his failure to make fun of Theresa May's lack of prowess on the dance floor. Corbyn has been noticeably quiet in the controversy which has seen May make...

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"Absolutely everything is OK" declares May.

Funny story: "Absolutely everything is OK" declares May.

In a follow up to her enthusiasm about a No Deal Brexit being A-OK-not-a-problem, Theresa May has issued a reassuring statement relating to absolutely anything which may crop up, informing the British public, "it'll probably be fine". This follows...

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Sodden Carnival makes Notting Hill Revellers proud to be British

Funny story: Sodden Carnival makes Notting Hill Revellers proud to be British

Sunday's wash out on the streets of Notting Hill brought the true spirit of Being British out in full force. A man dressed in a bin bag told us, "It's what it's all about, innit? Carnival's not all about colour, music, celebration and creativity. We...

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Has-been Farage to tour the UK reminding people of their will

Funny story: Has-been Farage to tour the UK reminding people of their will

Today, Nigel Farage cuts a tragic figure, sitting in South Mimms motorway service station with a burger and chips. He compares himself to great historical figures who also never accomplished anything - but, when pressed, he couldn't name any. Tort...

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Breaking news…

Trump Thinks Deaths at End of Avengers Infinity Wars Were Real

He sends the Secret Service to the movie set of Avengers 4 to do some investigating.
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