Throbbing Gristle Founder Genesis P-Orridge Mourned By Her Majesty The Queen

Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 16 March 2020

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There were sombre scenes at Buckingham Palace this evening, and the Royal Standard stood at half-mast, after the news was broken to Her Majesty the Queen that Genesis P-Orridge, the founder member and lead singer of Throbbing Gristle, had died, aged 70.

The Queen was a somewhat unconventional follower of the band's progress over its 45-year career, and the corridors of the Palace often rang out to the strains of 'Maggot Death', 'Slug Bait', and 'Hamburger Lady'.

She is reputed to have donned a disguise in order to attend the concert in Brighton in 1975, at which the band performed Very Friendly, a song about the Moors Murderers, Ian Brady and Myra Hindley, and how they murdered 17-year-old homosexual, Edward Evans, with an axe.

The Queen later commented that it was:

"a jolly good listen."

P-Orridge, formerly Neil Megson, formed COUM Transmissions, an extreme performance art group in Hull in September 1975, and out of its ashes rose TG. He spent the last two years in a desperate struggle against leukemia, finally succumbing on Saturday.

Her Majesty released a short statement to the effect that she would not be able to attend the funeral due to the situation with the Coronavirus, but said that she would be playing her Throbbing Gristle albums throughout the day of the service.

The Queen's interest in Throbbing Gristle was first revealed in a story here on 21 January, this year.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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