The Houston Texans Have Made Tampa Bay’s Tom Brady An Amazingly Out$tanding Offer!

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 13 November 2021

image for The Houston Texans Have Made Tampa Bay’s Tom Brady An Amazingly Out$tanding Offer!
Tom wearing a knit cap that was given to him by the owner of the Houston Texans.

HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – Sports Bet Gazette senior writer Zorro La Bamba, has just informed the sports world that Texans owner Bob McNair, has just made Brady an offer that many say will be pretty damn hard to refuse.

The owner, president, and CEO of the Texans has contacted Brady and made him an offer to come and play in the Lone Star state for a two-year contract worth $140 million.

Doing the math, that comes out to $70 million a year, which would be the largest sports contract in the history of sports contracts.

La Bamba spoke with McNair, who told him that he would be able to swing the $140 million by simply increasing the price of beer, peanuts, nachos, and sushi by 14%, which amounts to peanuts (no pun intended).

When La Bamba spoke on the phone with Tom Terrific, he commented that he and Gisele and the kiddoes are already practicing saying Texan terms such as “Howdy ma’am,” “Why don't y'all sit a spell,” and the most popular word in Texas lore, “Shucks.”

SIDENOTE: La Bamba reported that McNair has even offered to throw in a 1,000 acre cattle ranch, just outside of Houston, and a herd of 60 longhorn cattle.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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