Big Pharma Achieves Herd Immunity from Liability for COVID Vaccine-Related Injury

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Tuesday, 22 June 2021

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Herd immunity for Big Pharma is key to the long-term well-being of our corporate citizens, says Fauci.

Thanks to 1986 legislation severely limiting pharmaceutical companies’ liability for vaccine-related injuries, coupled with new legislation completely immunizing manufacturers of COVID-19 vaccines from legal liability, Big Pharma triumphantly reported having achieved herd immunity from financial damages arising from unforeseen risks related to the experimental MRNA coronavirus vaccine.

“Achieving unprecedented levels of herd immunity from critical thinking and medical autonomy among the general population was a major milestone,” said NAIAD Director Anthony Fauci. “But even more significant is having attained herd immunity for the pharmaceutical corporations that not only treat our medical issues but in many cases actually cause them. It’s this corporate herd immunity that will ensure the long-term health and well-being of our corporate citizens."

However, not all Americans agree that herd immunity for corporations is a positive development. "If these pharmaceutical companies are immune from lawsuits over injuries their products cause, what incentive do they have to make their products safe?” posited Rich Walliston of Austin, Texas.

But the lack of systemic checks and balances on large corporations is one that will always be raised by those who, for whatever mental or emotional deficiency, find it impossible to trust the "system,” says Fauci.

“There will always be those who put a cynical, negative spin on the protections we put in place for the businesses that profit off our illnesses," said the NAIAD Director. "Unfortunately, we don’t have a a vaccine for that just yet." He chuckled and added, "We’re working on it, though.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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