BILLINGSGATE POST: Not since Joe Cocolochek won the shot put gold medal in the 1936 Summer Olympics in Berlin, Germany, has anyone from Beaver Crossing, Nebraska, won an Olympic medal. Although overshadowed by Jesse Owens, who won gold medals in t…
TOKYO – (Sports Satire) – Tokyo police were tipped off that a pawn shop in downtown Tokyo had 17 Summer Olympic bronze medals in their possession. Yoshiku Nanashaki, owner of The Saki & Sushi Pawn Shop, refused to tell the police who had broug…
PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti – (Olympic Satire) – A spokeswoman for the Haitian Olympic team has just issued a news release, stating that the country’s Olympic athletes will not be allowed to participate in the Summer Olympics in Tokyo. Cynthia Vega-Omeg…
TOKYO – (Olympic Satire) – The Summer Olympic Committee is sad to report that Iceland’s lone entry in the Summer Olympics has left Japan and returned to his home in Kopavogur, Iceland. Gunnar F. Boltholt, a javelin thrower, told a security guard t…
TOKYO – (Olympics Satire) – There is extreme disappointment, despair, and friggin' sadness in the dormitory building where the Swiss Olympic team is housed. Reports state that Switzerland’s top weight lifter, Leon Titbrunnen, was given a random dr…
TOKYO – (Satire News) – Summer Olympic officials were shocked beyond belief when a routine search of the Zimbabwe Olympic team turned up an illegal blowgun. The blowgun known commercially as the Zebra Z-19, is extremely dangerous and unlike most t…
POZNAN, Poland – (Sports Satire) – Reports filtering out of Poland state that the country’s top female pole vaulter has just been disqualified from participating in this year’s summer Olympics in Tokyo, Japan. Guntherina Lubbintok, 24, was notifie…
BISON BUTT, Montana – (Satire Sports) – The tiny town of Bison Butt, which is known as The Fried Okra Capital of the World, is brimming with pride, as their hometown athletic girl has qualified for the Summer Olympics in Japan. Hairstylist Fawncel…
TOKYO, Japan – (Sports Satire) – The 2021 Summer Olympics is fast approaching and reporter Cinderella St. Lamb, with the Balls News Agency has compiled a list of the top must see Summer Olympic Events. Miss St. Lamb has also been commissioned by V…
The nation of Japan is panicking after it was discovered that the country had sprung a leak late last night and could sink to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. The leak was found by Shinji Ono, a credit controller from Kyoto who said he found it in hi...
A Tokyo man was jailed today for abducting the children's character Hello Kitty from a playground in Tokyo in May. The man Masahno Takakity had attempted to argue that his actions were justified as he was a scientist investigating the work of Erw...
Kim Jong Un, rotund ruler of North Korea, expressed a desire for North Korea to hold the next Summer Olympics when it is held in 2016. He was quickly informed that it had been decided years ago that it would be held in Rio de Janeiro in Brazil in 20...
The Humboldt Penguin whose daring escape from Tokyo's Sea Life Park in March, which shocked the world, is now suspected of pranking Tokyo Zoo. The Penguin, named Penguin No.13, who looks no different that Penguins 1-12, threw himself over a 13 foot...
The Tokyo Rose Society of Tokyo Japan announced today that Congressman Eric Cantor of Virginia would be receiving their annual award. The award has been given each year since 1941 to the American that has done the most to betray their country. "...
Tokyo - A terminally fat Sumo Wrestler was in the hospital yesterday according to neighbors who found him fused to the wallpaper of his bedroom. His girlfriend had been feeding the man uncooked rice flavored with aspartame. Such rice has more...
Tokyo - Feral geigers were spotted by Ms. Yukurtanklingashi of 30024E 3256th St in Tokyo early this morning. Geigers are not usually visible as they are so small. According to Ms. Yukurtanklingashi, these geigers were the size of cats but glowing g...
Tokyo - According to the Tokyo police, several packs of screaming babies have invaded Tokyo liquor stores, crawling off with bottles of liquor. The strange behavior is thought to result from the combination of yellow rain, lack of water to make ba...
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