LOUISVILLE, Kentucky - (Sports Satire) - The world's greatest thoroughbred racehorse trainer has just purchased a horse from Sarah Ferguson, aka Fergie, of the infamous toe-sucking scandal Fergie. Bob Baffert, who has won more races than Taylor Sw…
CHEYENNE, Wyoming - (Sports Satire) - A throughbred racehorse that is not owned by the world's greatest trainer Bob Baffert, has just won the 99th running of the Cheyenne Invitational Classic Derby. The horse which is owned by Wyoming buffalo ranc…
OMAHA, Nebraska - (Sports Satire) - The greatest horse trainer in history, Bob Baffert, has once again struck gold in the horse racing world. Baffert's latest horse named "Morning Woody" easily won The Omaha Invitational Derby by 13 lengths. "M…
LITTLE ROCK, Arkansas - (Sports Satire) - The world's greatest racehorse trainer, Bob "The Horse Whisperer" Baffert has just had his latest horse capture the very first race she entered. The mare named "Tit For Tat," easily won The Little Rock Fut…
LOUISVILLE, Kentucky - (Sports Satire) - The US Thoroughbred Horse Racing Federation has informed Saudi Arabian Prince Sim Shon Shuck that the name he has picked to replace the name "Horse Shit," is acceptable. Prince Sim Shon Shuck, who is report…
LOUISVILLE, Kentucky - (Sports Satire) - The quintessential horse racing publication, Thoroughbred Racing Magazine has just named trainer Bob "The Silver Fox" Baffert "The Horse Racing World's Man of The Year." Baffert has trained more thoroughbre…
LOS ANGELES - (Sports Satire) - Ever since he was a tiny bloke growing up in England, comedian Ricky Gervais, who was born in Port Wacker, England, has always been fascinated by horses. As a little tyke he fell in love with "Trigger," which was Ro…
LOUISVILLE, Kentucky - (Sports Satire) - Sportsapalooza is reporting that the United States Thoroughbred Racing Federation is demanding that the owner of the race horse named "Horse Shit," change it's name immediately. The owner of the horse is Si…
MOBILE, Alabama - (Sports Satire) - Bob Baffert is known as "The Tom Brady of Thoroughbred Racing Trainers." He has had more winners than the next top 4 trainers in the world combined. And "Baffy's" latest horse, "Giddy Up Bitch," recently upse…
LOUISVILE, Kentucky - (Sports Satire) - The world's greatest thoroughbred race horse trainer Bob "The Horse Whisperer" Baffert, is thrilled to announce that his newest horse has just won it's first race. The mare, which is named "Multiple Orgasm"…
LONDON - (Satire News) - Buckingham Palace is reporting that her majesty has indeed sold her prized Kentucky racehorse to her son Prince Charles. Queen Elizabeth's American racehorse named "iPad" has won six of the seven races he has raced in, inc…
LOUISVILLE, Kentucky - (Sports Satire) - The purple-colored thoroughbred race horse from Japan, has been disqualified. According to Sportsapalooza News writer Pia Confetti, it appears that "Sushi Sayonara" was tested after the race, and she came u…
LOUISVILLE, Kentucky - (Sports Satire) - History was made at this year's Kentucky Derby, when a late-entering horse named "Rich Strike" surprised the entire thoroughbred racing world and won the coveted 148th Run For The Roses. "Rich Strike," a br…
NEW YORK CITY - (Sports Satire) - The most famous duchess in the United States, the Duchess of York, has just entered her race horse "Nude Duchess" in the Kentucky Derby. Sarah Ferguson, who is Queen Elizabeth's daughter-in-law, purchased the geld…
LOUISVILLE, Kentucky - (Sports Satire) - In a ruling that has shocked North Korean leader Kim Jong-un, his thoroghbred race horse named "Rice Patty" will not be allowed to run in the 148th running of the Kentucky Derby. The Kimster was informed of…
LOUISVILLE, Kentucky - (Sports Satire) - The 148th running of the "Run For The Roses" as the Kentucky Derby is called will have a field of 24 horses, by far the most thoroughbreds to race at Churchill Downs. Two of the horses are from China, one i…
DENVER - (Sports Satire) - Bob Baffert's latest thoroughbred is now 2-0, after winning the coveted Rocky Mountain Ultra High Derby in Denver by 17¼ lengths. The amazing horse is the only transgender race horse in existence. Baffert, who is the wor…
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