Veteran Striker To Sign For Hull City

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 17 January 2021

image for Veteran Striker To Sign For Hull City
Part of Ken Wagstaff much earlier

It might have been years since he last pulled on the famous black-and-amber shirt, but Hull City's desperate need of a competent striker who knows where the back of the net is has brought club legend Ken Wagstaff out of retirement, and in contention for a place in the starting line-up.

Wagstaff, 78, scored 173 times for the Tigers between 1964 and 1975, and played his last game for them in a 1-0 victory over Portsmouth. Now, however, because of the club's desperate plight, 'Waggy' has dusted himself down and scraped the mud from his boots to 'give it another go'.

Moys Kenwood, 57, who clearly remembers Wagstaff tormenting defences during the early 1970s, said:

"Waggy was always a threat to opposition defences, and it didn't matter who City were playing. Just ask Gordon Banks if you don't believe me!"

Of course, the Stoke City and England legend can't be asked because he died in 2020, but you know what Kenwood means.

Waggy went into coaching after his playing days were over, and then into pub management, before finally retiring. Now, however, Tigers fans can look forward to defences being run ragged once more, as the veteran limbers up in readiness, by taking a walk around his back garden.

Said Kenwood:

"I can't wait to see him perform again. Even with a walking stick, or in a wheelchair, he'd put the current 'strikers' in the shade!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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