In a revealing moment earlier today which will undoubtedly send shockwaves all through the Buenos Aires baristas, the Supreme Being, God, has spoken out to deny any and all responsibility for assisting Argentina's Diego Maradona in the scoring of his first goal in the 1986 World Cup quarter-final against England.
The game, in Mexico City, ended 2-1 to Argentina, and accusations of cheating and intense criticism of the match referee, Ali Bin Nasser, a Tunisian, soon followed.
Maradona, from the very beginning, attributed the goal to:
"the Hand of God."
Today, however, God rejected that claim, saying that he had been nowhere near Mexico City on that day, 22 June, claiming, instead, that he had been recovering from "a heavy night" at Stonehenge, celebrating the Longest Day.
Said God:
"I'm glad I'm finally able to put the record straight on this one. The goal was nothing to do with me, and everything to do with that lying, cheating, dodgy-looking urchin boy from the slums. To associate my good name with an act of such dishonesty, needs some explaining, and I'll shortly be seeing him about it."
God did have this to say, however:
"His first goal might have been a bit 'dodgy', but there wasn't much wrong with the second, was there?"
