It's a well-known fact that celebrity always has its negative side, usually in the form of 'privacy issues, and that was the case this week with ex-President Barack Obama, who came downstairs to prepare breakfast on Saturday morning to find an intruder in his house.
The man, who police say looked like he was in his 60s, was of Asian origin, bespectacled, with very closely-cropped hair, and was clad in a filthy brown-orange robe.
He had helped himself to a bowl of Coco Pops and milk.
Mr. Obama used all his ex-presidential powers and guile to attempt to calm the man down, but found that this was unnecessary, as the fat bloke was already the calmest man he had ever met.
Mr. Obama made some toast and waffles, and the pair had coffee, after which they adjourned to the sitting room to discuss just what the devil the man was doing in Obama's house.
By this time, Mrs. Obama had woken up, heard voices, and called the police, thinking there might be a 'situation'.
When they arrived, however, they found Mr. Obama and the man discussing world politics and President Trump's refusal to concede defeat to Joe Biden, and get the hell out of the White House.
Later, the man left the house, and rooted through some bins for his lunch.