LAS VEGAS – (Sports Satire) - Sin City sports bookies all agree that the Cowboys, who are 2-5, have about as much of a chance of defeating the 7-0 Pittsburgh Steelers as a duck has of winning the Kentucky Derby.
Cowboys owner Jerry Jones was asked by Sport Bet Gazette’s Zorro La Bamba to comment on his spiritless Cowpokes, he replied “Well, to be honest, I’m wearing a mask to cover my nose and mouth, but I’m also gonna be wearing another one to cover my eyes.”
But seriously, “I’m serious.”
He then said that with Dak Prescott hurt, and his back-up Andy Dalton hurt, and with his third-string quarterback Ben DiNucci playing like one of his cheerleaders, and with fourth-string quarterback Chang Bombay, suffering from on-going bouts of diarrhea, Coach Mike McCarthy will be starting fifth-string quarterback Willie Billie Fit.
La Bamba asked him where Fit played his college ball. Jones replied that he played at Cucamonga A&M, before transferring to Hiawatha University in Bangor, Maine, after the counterfeiting charges and the intent to distribute 200 pounds of Durango Bango marijuana charges were levied on him.
SIDENOTE: According to TMZ both of the charges are still pending.