PHILADELPHIA – (Sports Satire) – Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones said that watching his team lose to the Philadelphia Eagles 23-9, was like watching a high school football game, what with all the trick plays his team used.
He pointed out to Hercules Confetti, with Sporting Chance Magazine, that the only trick that Coach Mike McCarthy did not use was the old 'stuff the football in your pants' trick.
Jones said that he was shocked to see his star running back, Ezekiel Elliott, used as a wildcat quarterback three times, and even used as a wildcat punter twice.
Third-string quarterback Ben DiNucci tried his best, but his offensive line was not able to stop the Eagles rush, and so he ended up on his butt for most of the game.
Reports are that many of the Cowboys fans left Lincoln Financial Field early, including dozens of the cardboard fan cut-outs.
The Cowpokes are now 2 and 6, and will most probably be 2 and 7, as their next opponent will be the Pittsburgh Steelers, who, at 7 -0, are the only undefeated team left in the NFL.
Meanwhile, SCM’s Hercules Confetti is reporting that Coach McCarthy, next week, will start his 4th-string quarterback Chang Bombay, who played his college ball at Joan of Arc College in Tijuana, Mexico.