PHILADELPHIA - (Sports Satire) - Sports Mirror reporter Tortilla Torres writes that the fans of Philadelphia sports teams (i.e. the Phillies, the 76ers, the Flyers, and the Union) can be some of the most fickle of any sports fans in the world; with t…
PITTSBURGH – (Sports Satire) – “Big Ben” played for the Pittsburgh Steelers for 18 seasons. Roethlisberger stood 6 ft. 5 ins. and weighed 241, and he was extremely hard hard to bring down without the use of a taser. In fact several opposing def…
TIJUANA, Mexico – (Sports Satire) – Beyonce Knowles, known as Queen B, by her gazillions of devoted fans, is extremely thrilled that her team the Tijuana Tamale Packers won their season opener, by clobbering the visiting Mexicali Maracas by a score o…
CANTON, Ohio – (Sports Satire) – Jerry Jones told Cinderella St. Lamb with the Balls News Agency that he is getting tired-as-hell of seeing his team lose. He said that he is so stressed out that he is even having a problem getting it up in the bed…
PITTSBURGH – (Sports Satire) – The Sports Bet Gazette proclaimed that thousands of Steeler fans are positively devastated that their team has been eliminated from the NFL playoff picture. Many NFL pundits had picked the Steelers to go all the way…
PITTSBURGH – (Sports Satire) – There was no joy or happiness at Heinz Field, aka Ketchup Stadium, home of the Pittsburgh Steelers, as evidenced by the sad faces on every Steelers fan. Steelers coach, Mike Tomlin, was reportedly so upset that his t…
DALLAS – (Sports Satire) – The Cowboys have nothing to be ashamed of as they led the only undefeated team in the NFL, the Pittsburgh Steelers, all the way until the final three minutes of the game. Cowboys 6th-string quarterback, Garrett Gilbert,…
LAS VEGAS – (Sports Satire) - Sin City sports bookies all agree that the Cowboys, who are 2-5, have about as much of a chance of defeating the 7-0 Pittsburgh Steelers as a duck has of winning the Kentucky Derby. Cowboys owner Jerry Jones was asked…
NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) - NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has said that he regrets to announce that he has decided to postpone the game between the Titans and the Steelers. Goodell said that medical tests showed that 13 Titans players had c…
NEW YORK CITY – NBC hates to inform the sports viewing public that the pre-season game between the Cowboys and the Steelers, which was to have taken place in Canton, Ohio, has been cancelled. It appears that more than 83% of all food vendors; incl…
Boston, Ma - The New England Patriots have awarded team naming rights to Amazon.com. The team formerly known as the Pats will now be called the Amazons. All players are required to take on Amazon as their last name. Quarterback Tom Amazon initial...
BILLINGSGATE POST: President Obama designated another controversial area as a national monument today. Last week the lame duck president irritated Utah and Nevada residents by declaring millions of acres off limits to mining and other public usage.
*Former Minnesota Viking running back Onterrio Smith makes a comeback, not as a player, but as a pitchman for his new Whizzinator-like product to help players beat drug tests. The product, which is endorsed by the estate of Prince, is called the "Pur...
Pittsburgh, PA-Justin Bieber, who recently joined the Pittsburgh Steelers in their Bible study meeting, was reportedly wanted by the NFL after pelting the Steelers' latest opponents, the New York Jets, with eggs during their post-halftime huddle.
PITTSBURGH - Word out of Pittsburgh is that the concession stands at Heinz Field are going to start selling Loser Hot Dogs in honor of the team's 0-4 start. The head of the Steelers concession stands said that this is being done in hopes of embarr...
BEVERLY HILLS - Word coming out of the Left Coast is that Pittsburgh Steelers strong safety Troy "The Hair" Polamalu has just been offered $1 million to cut his hair for a commercial. Bedroom Pillow Talk is reporting that the 'Hair Stylist To The...
PITTSBURGH - After adamantly stating that hell would freeze over and all of the Kardashians would move to Armenia before he would change his last name Ben Roethlisberger has changed his mind. "Big Ben" as he is known by his Tweeter fans has been t...
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