The Rumor Mill is Putting Out That Dallas Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones May Be Putting The Team on The Market

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 22 October 2020

image for The Rumor Mill is Putting Out That Dallas Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones May Be Putting The Team on The Market
Three of the 17 Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders who have recently quit.

DALLAS – (Sports Satire) – According to Sports Territory Magazine, Jerry Jones may be contemplating putting his Dallas Cowboys on the market.

STM’s Tango Brisket said that Jones told him that, at 78, he doesn’t know how much more disappointment he can take.

He remarked that, with his superstar Dak Prescott out, and his super players playing like mediocre players, even his underarm hair is starting to turn gray.

Jones said that his good friend and staunch Cowboys fan, Governor Chris Christie, has stopped replying to his text messages, saying that he’s busy watering the plants, playing with his dogs, and running 11 miles on the treadmill.

The Cowboys owner informed Brisket, that, within the past 48 hours, 17 of the Dallas cheerleaders have resigned.

He noted that the girls said that they feel that it is a complete waste of time to be ‘rah-rahing’ for a team whose defensive unit is giving up 36 points per game.

One of the cheerleaders who resigned said that she has never been more depressed than she is now.

She said that she has bruised vocal cords, her feet have bunions, and she has developed a horrible yeast infection.

In a related story – There is a rumor floating around ‘Big D’ that multi-billionaire Jeff Bezos may be interested in buying the team.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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