MUFFLER SMOKE, Michigan β (Satire News) - President Trump spoke at a MAGA Campaign Haters Rally before a crowd of 89 to 91 people, who were shivering in the 17 degree weather.
He told the crowd that he felt as fit as a five-month-old baby. He even asked if anyone in the crowd would like to join him on stage and burp him.
Everyone passed on that one.
He then informed everyone that the border wall is working fantastically. He said that a Border Patrol agent in Laredo, Texas, told him that the big, beautiful wall that Mexico has yet to pay for, has stopped the flow of counterfeit tortillas by 91%.
Trump smiled and said that he personally buys the White House tortillas from The Trump Tortilla Company, located in Bedford-Stuyvesant, New York.
The President then pointed out that the buying public can purchase his amazingly perfect tortillas at www.trumpstastytortillas.yum