Suntan Is Coming Along Nicely

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 3 September 2020

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Calm down, ladies!

The Coronavirus drags on with no end in sight, leaving many people at a loose end through not being able to go back to work, but for one man, the extra free time spent in the sunshine is very welcome, as he tops up his suntan.

Ken Moyswood, 57, has been lazing around in the lap of poverty since the middle of March, due to the lockdown imposed by the government to try to contain the spread of Covid-19.

He hasn't received any salary in that time, but, says he, money isn't everything:

"Yes, it's nice to receive money so that it can be used to put food in your little ones' mouths and stave off starvation, but the upside of all the spare time I've had, is that I've been able to get out in the sunshine more, and to get a nice, rounded, all-over suntan."

Speaking from his back garden, which looked like a bomb had exploded there recently, he said:

"There's nothing like getting a bit of sun on your back! The Vitamin C does you good, and the fresh air too!"

Moyswood, with his dark complexion and faintly southern Mediterranean look, tans easily, and the constant pummelling of his skin from the giant orb of seething hot plasma 93 million miles away, has given his flesh a beautiful golden tint, and exaggerated his wonderful muscle tone.

He said:

"It's fine looking like Adonis, but I wish I could go back to work!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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