Referee Denies Being Whistleblower

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 1 August 2020

image for Referee Denies Being Whistleblower
The whistle can clearly be seen in Gust's hand, but not between his lips

A top football referee at the centre of a raging controversy about 'biased officiating' at a top Championship play-off match has denied being a whistleblower.

Alan Gust, who has been on the Football League Referees Register for donkeys' years, is accused of preventing a crucial goal being scored in the Fulham v. Cardiff City game, when, at 2-1 to the Bluebirds, he stopped play with Cardiff striker Junior Hoylett through on goal with only the 'keeper to beat.

As Hoylett prepared to shoot, an ear-shattering peep from a whistle pierced the air, and the striker stopped. The ball rolled gently to the Fulham goalkeeper.

With Fulham having won 2-0 at Cardiff in the first leg, the aggregate score stood at 3-2 in the London club's favour, and a third Cardiff goal would have set up extra-time and, possibly, penalties.

Potential promotion to the Premier League, and almost-certain ruination was at stake.

But the ref said:

"I don't know why he stopped. I heard a faint sound, a bit like a wolf whistle, but not a ref's whistle. A bit like a dustman, I suppose, when he's emptying your bin. Or a postman. Or a milkman. It wasn't me though As far as I was concerned, he was onside, and the ball was in play. He should have got his shot off!"

Fulham will now play somebody else in the final.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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