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Funny satire stories about silence

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Funny story: Elephant Rapes Woman In Full View Of Crowd...

Elephant Rapes Woman In Full View Of Crowd...

It must be true, scream FIRE! and there's more chance of getting help than if you shout, RAPE! A lady who had been walking in her local park after lockdown measures were eased in Somerset, got a nasty shock when a big wild elephant jumped on her,…

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Funny story: Football Stadium To Become A Library

Football Stadium To Become A Library

It's been announced in the last few minutes that one of the teams relegated from the Championship to League One on the final day of last season, believe there is so little atmosphere at their stadium, that they intend to turn it into a public library…

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Funny story: Man Experienced The Sound Of Silence

Man Experienced The Sound Of Silence

A man who traipsed all the way to his brother-in-law's house, way out in the countryside, where very few people live, has told of how he became very bored very quickly, and withdrew to a field, where, at first hand, he encountered the sound of silenc...

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Funny story: Pregnant Pause Gives Birth to Kitten

Pregnant Pause Gives Birth to Kitten

Following an extended period of uncomfortable silence, a pregnant pause gave birth to a kitten. "It was really something to see," sad onlooker Susan Harris. "First one pause, then four paws. So cute!" Harris noted that she had been tempted to b...

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Funny story: Lady Gaga Taking Vow Of Silence & Meekness

Lady Gaga Taking Vow Of Silence & Meekness

According to her agent, Lady Gaga is taking a comparative vow of silence for the next year to refresh herself and see what she wants to do for the next few years. "I guess you noticed that she didn't say anything outrageous during her latest inter...

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Funny story: Grassington girl keeps quiet

Grassington girl keeps quiet

Keeping 'mum' is no problem for Milly Kegworth, who has recently taken 'silent orders' in her latest fund-raising venture. She agreed to remain silent for at least ten weeks, in an attempt to beat the Wharfedale record for non-stop not saying anythin...

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Funny story: Silent Vigil Speaks

Silent Vigil Speaks

Vigil Shortbread, the ninety five year old man known throughout the world as "Silent Vigil" has finally ended the longest silent protest in history. Mr Shortbread hit the headlines back in 1915 when, aged only five, he vowed never to speak again unle...

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Funny story: Man with World's Largest Penis and Woman with World's Largest Vagina Axed to "Keep Kids Quiet"

Man with World's Largest Penis and Woman with World's Largest Vagina Axed to "Keep Kids Quiet"

DETROIT, MI - Today, the man with the world's largest penis and the woman with the world's largest vagina were axed to "keep [their] damn kids quiet." "I been axin' you all morning to shet up them damn kids!" shouted Roni Witherspoon, 28, a downst...

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Funny story: Barack Obama joins the Trappist monks

Barack Obama joins the Trappist monks

American President Barack Obama today joined the Trappist Monks, monks who take a vow of silence. Long before he was elected he began practicing not saying anything, beginning with complete silence over a world event that not only every politician...

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