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Funny satire stories about Social distancing

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Funny story: How To Cope Under Lockdown, with Charles "Turnip" Townshend

How To Cope Under Lockdown, with Charles "Turnip" Townshend

Charles Townshend, 2nd Viscount Townshend, in full Charles Townshend, 2nd Viscount Townshend of Raynham, (born April 18, 1675, Raynham Hall, Norfolk, England—died June 21, 1738, Raynham), Whig statesman who directed British foreign policy from 1721 t...

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Funny story: Misanthrope Accepts Social Distancing With A Wry Smile

Misanthrope Accepts Social Distancing With A Wry Smile

BILLINGSGATE POST: When Elmer Smuckmeister heard that the Mayor of Beaver Crossing was making social distancing mandatory in this small farm town in Nebraska, the corners of his pie hole turned upwards. Elmer was not fond of the usual courtesies...

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Funny story: The WWE Has Come Up With a Way To Have Wrestling Matches While Adhering to the 6-Foot Social Distancing Policy

The WWE Has Come Up With a Way To Have Wrestling Matches While Adhering to the 6-Foot Social Distancing Policy

NEW YORK CITY – Vince McMahon, CEO of World Wrestling Entertainment, has informed the wrestling world not to worry because the WWE will be returning very soon. WWE announcer Cicero “The Mouth” Alamogordo stated that he met with Vince, his wife Lin...

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Funny story: CDC Reports Social Distancing Is Working! People Feeling More Distant than Ever

CDC Reports Social Distancing Is Working! People Feeling More Distant than Ever

Weeks into the COVID-19 lockdown, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention encouragingly reported that social distancing is working - as evidenced by the fact that people are feeling more distant than ever. “I’ve felt disconnected from frien...

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Funny story: Attractive Woman Hurt No One Willing to Social Distance With Her

Attractive Woman Hurt No One Willing to Social Distance With Her

Isolated and craving physical companionship in the midst of the nationwide coronavirus lockdown, Bonnie Radick of Nashville, Tennessee, was hurt that, while there were a good number of men willing to come have sex with her, she could not find anyone,...

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Funny story: New Aftershave Will Help With Social Distancing

New Aftershave Will Help With Social Distancing

A brand new aftershave that is due to be released onto the commercial market on Monday, is being touted as the perfect gift for those women who are finding social distancing from their man so difficult. Indeed, it will act like a shield. The af...

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Funny story: Ultra-rich Facing New Challenges Due to COVID-19

Ultra-rich Facing New Challenges Due to COVID-19

(Greenwich St, New York NY) The Ultra-rich (commonly known as "The 1% of the 1%"), are facing real challenges during the current world health crisis, despite having the financial means to seemingly overcome anything. A country in peril. Its citiz...

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Funny story: Last Line of Defense Ribbon Campaign Announced!

Last Line of Defense Ribbon Campaign Announced!

(Philadelphia, PA) Support The Ribbons, Inc. (a New York state supplier of made-in-China custom-printed magnetic ribbons) announced a new line of products specifically designed to address the needs of the true heroes of this tragic time, the Last Lin...

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Funny story: Multiple Personality Patients Not Coping Well With Social Distancing

Multiple Personality Patients Not Coping Well With Social Distancing

The government's social-distancing advice, given to try to limit the spread of any viruses that might be about, are, on the whole, having a positive effect, but there is one section of the population that is finding it nigh-on impossible to keep away...

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Funny story: Spoof Writer Criticises Coronavirus Guidelines

Spoof Writer Criticises Coronavirus Guidelines

A long-standing Spoof Writer has spoken out about the current guidelines that are being discussed and debated by so many intellectual giants and idiots alike in these turbulent but also very quiet times when the dangers are very real but at the same...

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Funny story: Frankie Howerd on the Coronavirus

Frankie Howerd on the Coronavirus

Good evening. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Yes. No. Ah. Ladies and gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen? Well, I mean. That's stretching it, isn't it. Be honest. Ladies and gentlemen? Don't make me laugh. Don't make you laugh either, by the sound o...

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Funny story: Social Distancing? Hey, No Problem For We Misanthropes!

Social Distancing? Hey, No Problem For We Misanthropes!

Stay six feet away? I do that anyway! Stay home and don't have guests? Ditto! Don't touch anyone? Bingo! Avoid people? You got it! I got this whole quarantine thing down, and I don't even have to change any of my habits! They are already...

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Funny story: Haggis ignore social-distancing

Haggis ignore social-distancing

Coppers have arrested a gaggle of raucous haggis who decided to turn deaf ear to new social-distancing regulations by having a tear-up on Glen Tilt. Authorities arrived at scenes of utter degradation just after one o’clock this morning, after bein...

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Funny story: Married Couples Are Starting To Practice Social Distancing Sex

Married Couples Are Starting To Practice Social Distancing Sex

WEST HOLLYWOOD - The American Intercourse Council has issued some guidelines that it is asking married couples to follow. After much discussion within the organization, they have decided to make a recommendation in keeping with the social-distanci...

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Funny story: Nashville Woman's Self-Quarantine Goes Remarkably Smoothly

Nashville Woman's Self-Quarantine Goes Remarkably Smoothly

Determined to go to any lengths to help “flatten the curve” and curb the spread of COVID-19, Jenny Mason of Nashville, Tennessee, implemented a policy of stringent self-quarantine – which, to her relief, met with little or no resistance. “No one e...

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Funny story: Idaho is the First State to Implement The Social Distancing Act

Idaho is the First State to Implement The Social Distancing Act

POCATELLO - The Idaho state legislature has just passed a law which will prohibit anyone from being within six feet of someone else. The Idaho Social Distancing Act, which requires couples to stay six feet apart from each other, passed by a vote o...

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Funny story: The Sex Toy Industry is Booming Due to The COVID-19

The Sex Toy Industry is Booming Due to The COVID-19

SAN FRANCISCO – The iNews Agency is reporting that the sex toy industry is experiencing the greatest boom in the history of sex toys, because of the C-19 social distancing 6-foot rule. Upper Northern Hemisphere Sex Toy Company CEO, Ira Goldenberge...

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