Works Both Ways!
A new list of advertisers leaving the Rush Limbaugh Show has appeared on several news sites today. What the advertisers do not seem to realize is that millions of Rush fans are copying them to drop.
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
Toads Are Leaving, Get Ready To Shake!
Scientists have reconfirmed that toads DO leave an area a few days before an earthquake. They have concluded this from watching Nancy Pelosi's trips from California to Washington DC and back.
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
Vladimir Putin denies voting fraud in Russian election.
"Comrades - I categorically deny 119% that the vote was above board".
written by radiogagger, 07 March 2012
Super Tuesday: Romney wins 6 out of 10 states.
Vladimir Putin won the other 5, but officials suspect more voting fraud.
written by radiogagger, 07 March 2012
Woman accused of burning daughter...
after she refused an arrange marriage.
That's one mother-in-law ya wanna steer clear of!
written by radiogagger, 07 March 2012
Lord Stevens gives evidence at the Leveson inquiry
Must be unusual for him to give evidence at an inquiry that he' not chairing...
written by radiogagger, 07 March 2012
Egypt MP resigns 'after lying about plastic surgery'
Party leaders got suspicious when he came back looking 'extremely like Omar Shariff'
written by radiogagger, 07 March 2012
Jessie J cancels gigs after losing her voice
A bit of advice to help your throat Jess -
it's all about the honey, honey honey, honey...
written by radiogagger, 07 March 2012
Peyton No Longer A Colt
Jim Irsay, Peyton Manning both tear up at emotional farewell. Announcement broadcast into schools, businesses. Many fans beat their breasts and throw ashes into the air.
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
Santorum advisers urge Gingrich to stand aside
so they can have a head to head v Romney.
"Come on Newt, spend some more time with your relationships"
written by radiogagger, 07 March 2012
Man denied liquor license near South Dakota Indian reservations!
"We don't mind", says Lakota spokesman. "Just as long as he spends money at our casino."
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
US news: Rush Limbaugh calls female student slut
Advertisers boycott his national speech radio show.
Instead, as an altenative they flock to advertise with footballer Ian Rush.
written by radiogagger, 07 March 2012
Congress debates rise in gas prices -- again!
"How high are the gas prices, Mama?" "I said they're $4 a gallon and rising!" "How high the gas prices, Mama?" "I said they're $5 a gallon and rising!" (*Special thanks to Johnny Cash)
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
Farmers Flee Spiders
Thousand of citizens of Wagga Wagga, Aust. as wolf spiders cover buildings, trees & grass after fleeing flood waters. "Wolf spiders are rough enough now, but just wait for a full moon", states farmer.
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
Officer probed for moving mattresses on patrol car
Claims that he was operating undercover!
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
UEFA Champions League Latest:
Barcelona 7 Bayer Leverkeusen 1
German team admit: We should never have put Jay Leno in goal.
written by radiogagger, 07 March 2012
Barcelona 7 Bayer Leverkusen 1 (aggregate 10-2)
Lionel Messi scores 5. Another normal day at the office for Leo.
written by radiogagger, 07 March 2012
Romneys Celebrate Primary Victories
Romney campaign declares near-victory. Mitt and his wife will take off for a couple of days from campaign and celebrate by exchanging underwear.
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
English Fans Express Relief At Financial Collapse Of Rangers Football Club
'At last the English won't have to listen to endless results of Celtic - Rangers matches on English television and radio,' confessed a relieved English sports fan.
written by Swan Morrison, 07 March 2012
Consumer credit rises more than expected in January!
Why should a consumer stay out of debt when the whole country keeps digging itself into a deeper hole?
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
Yoko Ono To Do Benefit For Victims Of Japan Nuclear Accident
Unless she is given $100,000 per U.S. city, she will come there and sing over loud speakers.
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
Warning signs of clinical depression
Lethargy is common, but sufferers can also seem agitated and hyper. "They will suddenly do a double back flip and then sit and cry."
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
Radical Change Proposed In American Presidential Election Process
'The winner will still be the richest person who also can raise the most money,' said a White House spokesman, 'but the money will be given to help the poor rather than being wasted on campaigning.'
written by Swan Morrison, 07 March 2012
Hank the cat, a 9-year-old Maine Coon, runs for Senate!
Promises "A mouse in every house, a hodgepodge in every garage!"
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
Judge rejects gag order request in Paula Deen case!
Paula Deen asks judge to please not call it that? "I have cookware to sell."
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
American 'Silly Names' Competition Reaches Crucial Phase
'With Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich still in the competition,' said a commentator, 'Barack Obama must be pretty damned worried.'
written by Swan Morrison, 07 March 2012
"Mantyhose" Gaining Momentum!
Expert Emilio Cavallini says men are latching on to hosiery! Can the 'Bro' be far behind?
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
New Mexico town elects mayor who called Obama evil
"Wouldn't trust him any further than I can throw him! Whatever you do, don't look him in the eye unless you have the right charms like worm feathers!"
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
Christie Brinkley's Ex-Husband Depicts Ugly Image of Supermodel
Brinkley claims that he's had ugly image photo-shopped!
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
Sun Fires Off 2 Huge Solar Flares in One-Two Punch!
"Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee..I'm Mohammed Ali!" Flares could mix communication times and cause computer, TV problems!
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
Olympic Games Ticket Sold To A Member Of The Public
'We don't know how such an error occurred,' confessed Chair of the London 2012 Organising Committee, Sebastian Coe. 'The ticket has now been confiscated and reallocated to a corporate sponsor.'
written by Swan Morrison, 07 March 2012
Prisoners TV £1 a week - NHS Patients £70 a week
NHS hospital patients now have to pay up to £10 a day to watch TV while Prisoners spend just £1 a week.
"What a crazy country we are living in!"
written by Inchcock, 07 March 2012
That the Health Secretary was unable to enter a hospital without a police escort!
The humiliation of the hapless Andrew Lansley would be funny if the medical care of people wasn't such a serious matter.
"Says it all about his destruction of the NHS!"
written by Inchcock, 07 March 2012
Benefits cheat mum invented 10 children!
Sarah Jane Smith, 41, also pretended her two real kids were severely disabled to justify claiming child tax credits.
"No kidding!"
written by Inchcock, 07 March 2012
One in four benefit cheats 'lost'!
One in four arrest warrants slapped on benefit fraudsters are still outstanding two years after being issued.
"Well fancy that!"
written by Inchcock, 07 March 2012
UK Population United On Austerity Measures
'100% of the UK population support stringent, targeted austerity measures,' confirmed a spokesman for MORI, today. 'All believe, however, that measures should be targeted at anyone other than them.'
written by Swan Morrison, 07 March 2012
John Who?
Middle class mecca John Lewis/Waitrose reports 3.8% fall in profits, dear oh dear.....looks like LIDL could be on the cards ladies!
written by Herrdoktorfox, 07 March 2012
Down the Crapper!
Plan to save £159m costs Whitehall £1.4bn...."well done chaps, Britisg efficiency at it's very best.....again!"
written by Herrdoktorfox, 07 March 2012
Balotelli joins "The Hood"!
Balotelli attempted not to attract too much attention by joining the "Hoody Gang". His first attempt to remain anonymous in a Manchester Mall failed. He was ejected, wearing one, a Hoody that is!
written by unknown
All Sluts are not Created Equal
Laura Ingraham is a "right - wing slut according to MSNBC's Ed Schultz." Ms. Ingraham is still waiting for President Obama's call.
written by JAB, 07 March 2012
No More DittoHeads?
Rush Limbaugh's faithful listeners now referred to as "Dodoheads!"
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
Tennessee Professor Tries to Drive Across US on 10 Gallons of Gas
"Of course, it would have been easier going from north to south instead of across, because it would have been all downhill."
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
But Tofu, Yogurt & Apples Are Good For You!
A group of school kids in Alabama are considering launching a lawsuit against Michelle Obama for starving them. "She's changed our school lunches and we're not going to take it anymore."
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
Loggers Stepping In A Lot Of Logs These Days
A large group of environmentalists say they are joining the bears by crapping in the woods. "With crap everywhere they step, we think a lot of loggers will give up."
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
Obama Talks About NKorea Trade
President Obama told reporters at press conference yesterday that he hopes the food for nuke inspections with NKorea. "However, I've completely given up on FOX News!"
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
Leader of hacking group LulzSec's Sabu worked for us - FBI
Well in the current economy it makes sense to go out and get a part-time evening job.
written by radiogagger, 07 March 2012
Allen Stanford guilty of $7bn Ponzi scheme
An American who likes cricket? Knew it was too good to be true..
written by radiogagger, 07 March 2012
Southern Water to import Scottish rainclouds.
£55m contract with Scotland, in bid to avert future droughts, and maintain supplies.
written by dulcie gabbani, 07 March 2012
Limbaugh Thanks Friends
Rush Limbaugh told his audience Monday that he thought about not coming in to do his show Monday after all the bad publicity. "I want to thank the people here who left a path of sausages to the door."
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
Oldest Newlyweds
This week, a 95-year-old woman married a 98-year-old man to become the world's oldest newlyweds. The couple celebrated the occasion by breathing in each others hearing aids.
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
Pests Are Plentiful
Warm winter may bring pest-filled spring, summer and politicians in the fall!
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
AP Source: Colts expected to part with Manning!
"Better that than parting with fifty million dollars for a 'noodle' arm", states owner.
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
France says Iran "two-faced", skeptical talks can succeed!
Iran counters with, "You would be two-faced too if you had as many nuclear accidents as we have!"
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
Israel cautiously welcomes big-power talks with Iran
"And don't come back with that 'Peace in our time' crap", says Netanyahu!
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
Judge temporarily blocks Wisconsin voter ID law!
"What do you want, a group from across the US examining each ID to see if it's authentic, like those hanging chads in Florida?"
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
Democrats protest plan for Rush Limbaugh bust in Missouri
"If he's going to bust, we want him to bust in New York or Florida. Why don't he just cut down on so much eating?"
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
Palin backs Gingrich, leaves door open for herself!
Most Republicans hope that it's the Back Door!
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
Still Witless, Ron Paul campaign presses on
I'm sorry. That should read: Still "winless", Ron Paul campaign presses on!
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
Private sector adds 216,000 jobs in February!
Government sector asks them to pay their taxes in advance!
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
What sank the Titanic? Scientists point to the moon!
Just before there's a police drug raid on Think Tank!
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
Obama mulls giving Moscow data on missile defense.
Also, top military plans, how far new weapon research we have, where our spies are located in Russia.
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
Don't Go To Mexico!
For the third year in a row many colleges have asked their students not to spend Spring Break in Mexico. "Hard to keep those grades up without a head", says one school President.
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
High school's chant of 'USA! USA!' deemed racist.
So cheers have changed to "Kiss My Ass! Kiss My Ass!"
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
Feds Swoop Down on Alleged Web Hackers.
But too late to save several endangered spider species!
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
BACKFIRE: Company Stock Plummets After Limbaugh Ad Drop.
New Advertisers now lining up!
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
Return of the seagulls?
Newcastle attacking midfielder Hatem Ben Arfa says he wants to become the new Eric Cantona of English football.
Crystal Palace fans - you have been warned!
written by radiogagger, 07 March 2012
Chelsea want Pep Guardiola as manager
Sources say he'll come to Stamford Bridge if Abramovitch agrees to rename Chelsea 'Barcelona' to bring all his players from Barcelona and finally bring Spanish weather to London.. Sounds good to me!
written by radiogagger, 07 March 2012
Cameron arrested by police
"I was only trying to cross the road!" cried an exasperated British PM David Cameron as he was arrested today for jaywalking in Whitehall. Police had no alternative but to nab him as he ran a red.
written by whatinthe world, 07 March 2012
Obama Creating Jobs: Wanted Babysitter
President Obama said he "…called Ms. Fluke because I thought about Malia and Sasha."
written by JAB, 07 March 2012
Ready For Purim?
Election year conversion on Israel for President Obama who has not been all that friendly to Israel the past 3 years. This evening he said, "The US has always backed Israel", while wearing a yarmulke.
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
That Kid Looks Familiar
Parents Forget Child, 3, at Chuck E Cheese, Find Out on Evening News! "I kept telling Henry, I had this odd feeling all the way home."
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
Police Officer Evicted Due to Human Rights Violation
The police officer was evicted by dragging him (literally) from the station and thrown into an ambulance -- a karmic effect!
written by Rocko the Zen Wallaby, 07 March 2012
Police Officer Arrested for Using Drugs
He was arrested, but aside from drugs, a prescription was found in his pockets.
written by Rocko the Zen Wallaby, 07 March 2012
Teacher Lets Students Resolve Conflict Through Boxing
This teacher thinks that these students look like Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather Jr. Appropriate action was taken, though.
written by Rocko the Zen Wallaby, 07 March 2012
Don't Mess Wid Da Council!
United Nations Security Council kinda mulling over proposed possible Syria resolution...maybe.
written by Bureau, 07 March 2012
