Undercover Covert Ass-Signment
A spokesman for the United States Air Force admits that they had been sending drone airplanes over nudist colonies.
He's Just Not There!
Scientist admit that they can find no solid history for prehistoric man!
Last Victim Released
The last bird oily from the BP oil slick cleaned up and given 'a clean bill of health'.
Secretive White House state dinner wines revealed!
You guessed it: "Two-Buck Chuck"!
Biden lauds Obama as man of 'steel'!
Republicans: As usual, Joe Biden misspelled "Steal"!
Clooney arrested at Sudanese embassy
Tells reporters that he was there for a very important cause..."My name hasn't been in the news much lately!"
Tides Of March?
George Clooney has been arrested outside the Sudanese Embassy in Washington DC!
Brad Pitt and Matt Damon are inside cleaning out the safe.
Women Leave Think Tank!
Women leave Think Tank in Washington after men exposed themselves. "Hey, that's what they say we use to think with, right Baldy?", states one male member.
Little Eddie Milipeed has come out of his box again pledging 'Jobs Guarantee' for under 25's...oh yes, and a free Walls 99 cornet!!
Welsh rugby ace, Mervyn 'Merv the swerve' Davies dies...bet he did not see that coming!
George Clooney arrested for attempting to act!
George clooney has been arrested for attempting to act for real. It went pear-shape so after bail he decided to stick to naff-Nescaf-e adverts!
written by Jaggedone, 16 March 2012
Unkempt walking afterbirth Russell Brand has been arrested in the US after allegedly grabbing a photographers phone and throwing it through a window....now banned from Toys-R-Us for life!!
Man Of Obvious Hispanic Descent Drunkenly Brags To Friends Of His "Three-Quarters-Percent Irishness"
To which his 3rd generation Chinese-American friend sloppily responded, "Me too, bro."
written by Gregamemnon, 16 March 2012
India ministers quit after caught watching porn in parliament!
3 Indian MPs including a women's affairs minister, resigned on Wednesday after being caught watching pornography on a mobile phone during a session of state parliament.
Anfield Cat Is Twitter Hero After Pitch Dash
The cat that invaded the pitch during Liverpool's draw with Spurs has become an internet celebrity - with more followers on Twitter than £20m signing Stewart Downing!
Cocaine Worth £1m Sent To UN 'By Mistake'
A 16kg shipment of cocaine lost by Mexican drug traffickers has turned up at the United Nations headquarters in New York.
"Of course it might have been a back-hander?
Moroccan men set themselves on fire!
5 unemployed Moroccan men set themselves on fire in Rabat as part of widespread demonstrations in the country over the lack of jobs.
"Here in the UK, we'd like to set David Cameron on fire!"
Quatar ban alcohol at 2022 World Cup?
How will England fans drown our sorrows?
(Assuming we qualify)
Absolute Radio to hold secret gig.
That's all I can tell you - it's secret.
Stable lad wins £1m at Cheltenham......so pleased he is now stable at least he'll be able to enjoy his winnings.
Football: Manchester teams knocked out of Europe.
A City United in failure. For one night at least.
George Osborne poised to slash top tax rate from 50p to 40p
On this occasion punchlines - and other words fail me.
Obese Police Officers warned:
Get fit or die trying...
Clooney Goes To White House Again
Tells reporters that he would only run as Obama's VP in case of emergency drop in predicted female voters.
Rowan Williams resigns as Archbishop of Canterbury
Williams will spend more time with his family, Robin, Robbie, Venus and Serena.
Harry Redknapp installed as bookies favourite to take over.
Three in 10 young adults live with parents, highest level since 1950s!
President Obama: See, I have brought families back together!
Trinity Mirror to pay creditors with pension pot cash
Uh oh, where have i heard that before?
Tourists spent $38 billion in New Jersey last year
Mostly in toll money in order to get to New York City.
Political Races Uses Billions
Citizen's Group say that if all money spent on political races were spent on deficit, it could pay it off over next 20 years.
Prices up again for consumers!
Gasoline pushes up consumer prices, blood pressure, motives for revenge in February.
New York cuts pension benefits for public workers
This will allow city offices and management positions to keep theirs.
Sex-deprived male flies go for the booze
Maybe men evolved from flies instead of monkeys.
Should Last Two Days As Was The Case Last Summer
Exclusive: U.S., Britain set to agree on emergency oil stocks release, just in time for election.
Santorum wants to ban hard-core porn
Or as former President George W. Bush would say: Hard-pore cornography!
All this angst over "pink slime" has made one thing clear: We don't always know what we're getting when we bite into a big juicy booger...burger!
No mention of 'Afghanistan' in new Obama campaign video
Also no mention of $6.00 gas prices, ten million people out of work, reading his ghostwriter's messages in answers to questions on teleprompter.
Skydiver aims to jump from 23 miles, go supersonic
Breaking the sound barrier with only his body...halo!
Pink Slime' Will Be a Choice for Schools'
Other choices: Green sludge, Purple roach piss, Orange rat hairs!
"What's Up, Dude? Certainly not me!! Ha! Ha!"
Emails from dead man's account helping family and friends find closure.
N. Korea says it will launch long-range rocket
Apologize in advance just in case it accidentally comes down on your neighborhood!
Apple fans around world snap up new iPaid
Sorry. That should have read "iPad". Never-the-less the above is true also!
Santorum Would Not Deny Contraception
"I absolutely encourage all liberals to use as much contraception as possible"
NATO Asked To Leave
Afghanistan leader asks NATO troops to leave villages. "And don't let the door blow up on your ass as you leave."
Obama Feels Pressure
Country on edge as he announces plan to release gas.
German celebrity bunny crushed to death by cameraman
Hugh Heffner has sent his condolences.
Leaked e-mails reveal Iran advised Syria on uprising
They should have used pigeons.
Apple shares hit $600 day before launch of new ipad
So for $600 you could buy one Apple share,
or $500 you could buy an ipad3...
Premier League chairman Sir Dave Richards falls into a pool
Michael Barrymore has immediately claimed he has a water-tight alibi.
GOP Launches New Reality Show
GOP launches new reality show, Blame the Black Guy formerly known as The Republican National Convention.
written by Kevin Nelson, 16 March 2012