Workers Are Abused
Whorehouse workers in Southern California say abuses are systematic! I'm sorry, that should be "Warehouse workers". I'm starting to sound like Rush Limbaugh.
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
Seconds-apart quakes shake Californians awake!
All over the state you could hear, "OK! OK! I'm getting up. And, look, I've turned off the snooze button. Sheeeee!"
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
Jimmy Carter Losing It
Former President Carter calls for U.S. air strikes on his Uncle Henry. "He has moved his peanut plantation fence further unto our property once again during the night."
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
Days Of Our Dealers
A 84year old coke dealer avoided jail because of his age, ill health and the fact he was going to supply the drug to friends. That must be one hell of a retirement home.
written by Backandtotheleft, 05 March 2012
Comedian to enter London 2012 Mayor race
Isn't it bad enough we already have Boris?
written by radiogagger, 05 March 2012
Occupiers Getting Ready
Plans are underway for the Occupy Wall Street already for this Spring & Summer. "We plan to make Wall Street look more like Wal-Mart", says one guy in bunny pajamas.
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
Imogen Thomas in newspapers 'because she's Imogen Thomas'
When will it end?
written by radiogagger, 05 March 2012
Al-Qaida Trying Hard To Be Noticed
Al-Qaida has announced that they were responsible for the three failed parked car explosions in NYC yesterday. The CIA answered with, "Say what?"
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
Katie Price clone splits from Katie Price management
The price is wrong?
written by radiogagger, 05 March 2012
BBC Football Focus halted due to fire alarm.
I blame John Terry. Or Luis Suarez.
written by radiogagger, 05 March 2012
Woods Still Afraid After Beating?
Tiger Woods nearly had his first big win in two years on the PGA tour yesterday, finishing a close second. Friends say that if Tiger even quits being afraid of his nine-iron, he'll be fully recovered.
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
Had 50/50 Chance
A Tibetan Monk, who decided to protest Wall Street greed today, tried to set himself on fire by driving a Chevy Volt into the taxi lane.
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
Better Back Then?
A new study found that cavemen suffered from many of the same things that modern humans have...except "stand-up" comedians.
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
Be More Specific!
President Obama To Netanyahu: I got your back! Netanyahu: But how far down my back?
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
2012: Year Of The Protest
Police break up anti-Putin protest in Moscow! Here we go again, folks.
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
Limbaugh: Libs Have Double-Standard
After hearing that student wants more than an apology, Rush Limbaugh says he will apologize again, IF libs will apologize for names they call Sarah Palin.
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
Snooki Preggers
Report: Snooki is engaged. Pickle magazine says the pregnant star will marry Jionni LaValle, the father of her child. If it's a boy, she says his name will be "Wooki" and girl, "Nooki".
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
WSLUT Is On The Air!
Radio Talk Show host in Hot Springs, Arkansas in hot water after calling a slut, Rush Limbaugh!
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
Time To Head For The Head!
Local man in Harlan, Kentucky says that he always heads for the bathroom when there's a tornado warning, the beginning of an earthquake or a double portion of chili. "They all effect me the same way."
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
Abramovich has sacked more managers than Villas-Boas had posh hot dinners!
Another head has rolled into the basket of Tsar Rasputin Roman; Andre V-Boas is now headless and didn't even have time to enjoy more posh hot dinners than Roman's list of sacked managers!
written by unknown
Limbaugh Rock #2: How Low Can You go?
Rush Limbaugh inadvertedly made another blooper on his show today. Instead of saying "Las Vegas slots" he said "Las Vegas sluts".
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
Texas Bounty Hunter
A Texas bounty hunter has received his 25th reward for bringing in a wanted criminal. His secret: Google Earth!
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
Obama Addresses US Troops!
President Obama stated today that the US will not be in Afghanistan much longer. He made the statement while addressing US troops coming back from South Korea.
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
Advice from A Pro
Former President George W. Bush told Mitt Romney today that he should "loose it up a bit" while he's out there complaining for President!
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
The Very Latest!
In case you just joined The Spoof on the Pacific Coast this morning: Late last night while you slept, US Navy SEALS took out Godzilla.
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
New Willie Nelson Fan
Patrons at local bar sick to death of young man just discovering Willie Nelson: "You know he wrote 'Crazy' don't you?" "Yes kid, he wrote it about you!"
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
Romney's New Slogan
Mitt Romney has announced his latest campaign slogan: "Get A Load Of Mitt!"
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
Claims Puma Killed Owl
Wildlife official defends photo of himself with slain puma, Northern spotted owl.
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
Move Over Elvis
Third "appearance" this year of Michael Jackson reported this weekend, this time in Los Angeles.
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
Tearful Putin thanks supporters after win!
"Some of you sacrificed your whole day going from voting station to voting station!"
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
Hit A Hole In The Road
Suicide bomber blows up one as he was apparently headed for Islamabad!
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
Ripley's Say They're Innocent
Heart of Dublin's patron saint taken from church in Dublin. Also, the seventeenth toe from left foot of another saint taken from church in Wales.
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
Ronnie Corbett admits he was sent to the Priory
You'll never be able to drink Ronnie under the table, because he's got a head start on you (as it were)
written by radiogagger, 05 March 2012
Rihanna gets raunchy with Jonathan Ross
Sorry, that should read 'wauncy'
written by radiogagger, 05 March 2012
Jessie J cancels gigs in Australia after losing voice
Australia is a big place, lets hope she finds it again.
written by radiogagger, 05 March 2012
4.0 Earthquake In San Fran!
A magnitude 4.0 earthquake shook the San Francisco Bay area on Monday, the U.S. Geological Survey reported. "Out here, we call these 'toe tappers'", says Mayor.
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
Beware Where You Breathe
Study links heavy diesel exhaust, sitting too long in portal potties to lung cancer!
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
Europe Out Of Intensive Care
Analysis: Out of intensive care, Europe risks chronic illness..staph infection.
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
McCain Creticizes Limbaugh..Sort Of!
McCain: Limbaugh outburst ha ha ha ha is 'totally unacceptable' Aha Ha Ha!
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
'Lorax' cleans up at box office with $70.7M debut!
Dr Seuss passes Charles Shultz on list of Dead's Bread List!
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
Serious Concerns Over Iran Nukes
IAEA has "serious concerns" as Iran boosts nuclear work. Admits that former 'concerns' weren't all that serious.
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
Russian Election Criticism May Spur Protesters!
"That's OK", says Putin. "I love a good cock fight."
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
Teaming Up Could Help Economy
Kentucky farmers, Woody Harrelson plan joint venture should hemp be legal to grow once again.
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
Chelsea website statement on Andre Villas-Boas
"The board would like to record our gratitude for his work and express our disappointment that the relationship has ended so early, but he is still young and has to go back to school".
written by radiogagger, 05 March 2012
Dips Still Buying?
Stock futures off on economy concerns, dip buying seen. "No matter what happens", says economist, "there are always some Dips out there who think they know better than everyone else."
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
Japan Hunts for Escaped Penguin
May have to send out the Bat Signal!
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
Obama Perfects Speaking Out Both Sides Of Mouth
On eve of pro-sounding Israel meeting, Obama pushes for more Iran dipsydoodle diplomacy.
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
Limbaugh Rocked!
A flower company is the seventh advertiser to pull its ads from conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh's radio program in reaction to his derogatory comments. NRA ads are set to replace them.
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
Up thre Poll
In a new YouGov poll two thirds/62% of respondents agreed that 'politicians' tell lies all the time......the other 38% were still locked up and awaiting their morning medication!
written by Herrdoktorfox, 05 March 2012
Another one bites the dust!
ExTory minister Norman St.John-Stevas dies....how many more to go??
written by Herrdoktorfox, 05 March 2012
Tesco saviours?
The Tesco supermarket chain to create 20,000 jobs over the next two years....mainly for the unemployed youth of GB who will be on a lesser weekly wage ....who said slavery was dead?
written by Herrdoktorfox, 05 March 2012
DNA
Dad, can you tell me what DNA means?
Don't no anything!
That can't be right - it should be Don't no nothing
written by j.w., 05 March 2012
Teacher fired after assigning violent math problems to third graders!
"If you killed your whole family of four one weekend and another family that looked liked yours but had an extra member, the next weekend, how many would you have killed?"
written by Bureau, 05 March 2012
Thief Accidentally Drinks Acid on Foiled Heist
The thief known as Pah-reh drunk a bottle of hydrochloric acid when trying to steal a pair of slippers on the CWTS News Center. Authorities state this is called karma; the acid was mistaken for water.
written by Rocko the Zen Wallaby, 05 March 2012
