Chunk of ice the size of a skyscraper launched from the Moon, hits NASA...
....with a note attached, "Here's your water, chumps!"
written by Jack Van Gump, 09 October 2009
Cards Can Support the Mentally Ill
Sending cards and gifts to the mentally ill can help them tremendously, so say experts. Most of these experts work for Clinton Cards or Hallmark.
written by IN SEINE, 09 October 2009
Mel Gibson is no longer a pissed catholic!
Mel Gibson has gone back to his roots and become a very MAD, MAX! After rejecting the catholic church and Moses, he has seen the light and now listens to TUPAC in the desert, totally MAD, MAX!
written by unknown
Fucking US morons explode 2 rockets on the moon for a bucket of ICE, ICE, Baby
The US throw another 79$ million at the moon hoping to discover ICE, the Earth's ice is melting so US nerd scientists thought it would be clever to import it from the moon, fucking idiot aliens!!
written by unknown
Halle Berry Wins Nobel Piece Prize
The Nobel Commission issued a statement Friday calling this year's recipient "one hot piece of dark meat."
written by Bob Jones Bulletin, 09 October 2009
Chicken Plant Unprepared
A new study reveals that an Arkansas chicken processing plant is completely unprepared for a nuclear war!
written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
He's Still Going To Jail
Toledo, Ohio woman tells police that her husband does NOT torture her with cigarettes. "He just loves to smoke during sex instead of after."
written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Magazine Going Broke
The Lottery Magazine reveals it's top one hundred number combination's of 2009, through August.
written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Husband Not So Favre Gone
Green Bay, Wisconsin woman admits she's no longer a "football widow". "Now I'm just a 'football play-off widow'!"
written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
"Just Be Yourself"
Disney Studios say they have saved over $30 Million by grabbing guy off the street to play the role of "Ordinary Joe".
written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Kits Being Recalled
Little Mr. Opthamologist Kits being recalled before "Somebody gets an eye put out!".
written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
I Don't Deserve This!
I don't deserve this': Obama stunned as he is awarded Nobel Peace Prize after less than nine months in office, but it would be rude not to take it. Isn't it here yet?"
written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
He'll Be Fine
Western Kentucky 89-year-old fights with family over being placed in nursing home. "As long as I can remember to eat and..and.."
"Shit?"
"Yeah, as long as I can eat shit, I'll be OK!"
written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Holes In Hotel Security Spotted
ESPN video case shows holes in hotel security. "I didn't even realize I had been shot", states guard.
written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Calif. Doc Arrested
California doc who hailed herbal cancer cure arrested. "Even if it does cure cancer, you can't use that voodoo stuff", says FDA.
written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Citrus Farmers Worried
California citrus farmers fear tree-killing disease, the Fruit Tree Flu. "Worse than the Pine Flu in the Smoky Mountains", say experts.
written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Another Obama Peace Prize?
President Obama scheduled to recieve second Noble Peace Prize next month for pardoning White House turkey, Joe Biden.
written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Trying Everything
Obama, Democrats court women on health overhaul by sending flowers, nice cards, candy, threats.
written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Flu Shots Given Through Billfold
Nancy Pelosi wants bill passed that places $10 tax on every swine flu shot.
written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Economy Must Come First
US, other nations stop counting pandemic flu cases after citizens reportedly staying in their homes, afraid to go shopping.
written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
New Olympic Sports
Golf, rugby accepted as Olympic sports. Dwarf bowling still being considered!
written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
No Word From Ahdminejad
Suicide bomber uses wrong bomb, blows Tehran, Iran off the world map!
written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
No Water Yet
NASA probe hits moon south pole looking for water, instead hits oil gusher. Shell, Exxon-Mobile immediately building their own rockets.
written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
White House Singles Out American Public As Problem
Calling 'Em Out: The White House Takes on the Press, Joe Wilson, the American people! "We know what's best for you so shut your yap", says press secretary.
written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Possible Record-Holder
ND woman's 7-foot-long dog could be record holder, but tends to snap the old vinyls in his massive jaws.
written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Many Nobel Peace Winners
President Barack Obama wins Nobel Peace Prize. Also Neville Chamberlain, David Carradine's "Grasshopper role" and the Colt single-action handgun.
written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
Obama's Peace Prize
President Obama wins the Nobel peace prize apparently for being able to keep peace in the White House with Michelle's mother living there.
written by Bureau, 09 October 2009
No Moon Shine Tonight!
NASA has inadvertently "popped the moon" after crashing craft into the air filled natural satallite!
written by iscrivener, 09 October 2009
World News Goes Spoof!
US President Barack Obama has been awarded the Nobel Prize for Peace!
written by iscrivener, 09 October 2009
More News from the Food Police
The Food police are upset that certain vegetables and berries contain natural contaminants. Never mind that people have been eating this produce for Millennia! More government regulation is desired!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 09 October 2009
Environmental Protection Agency to Move to Tonga
President Obama announced today that the EPA will relocate to Tonga. The Tongan Ambassador handed Secretary of State Clinton a note saying that a state of war exists between Tonga and the USA!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 09 October 2009
Tort Reform?
If you or a loved one has been hit by a Gnu during a snowstorm on February 29th call the law offices of WTF Inc for a no cost consultation. You may be entitled to compensation and us a fat fee!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 09 October 2009
A Hidden Tax
House Speaker Pelosi proposes a soiled underwear tax to pay for health care reform. Underwear manufacturers and environmentalists are ecstatic, but no one has signed up for the "Underwear Police."
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 09 October 2009
Health Care Costs
My doctor told me to take two aspirins, go to bed and call him in the morning. It cost me $829 billion, but not to worry my health insurance will pay for it!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 09 October 2009
Biden Plan
President Obama announced that VP Biden will take up residence in former VP Cheney's secret hideaway and then added "forget-about-it!"
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 09 October 2009
