Libertarian Reluctantly Seeks Government Help To Recover Stolen Crypto

Funny story written by amey-shetye

Saturday, 26 March 2022

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ORLANDO, FL - 26-year-old, Dave Smith, a self-professed libertarian and avid Bitcoin enthusiast, had funds stolen from his Binance cryptocurrency account and is currently filing a complaint with the US Department of Justice.

Dave Smith, resident of Florida, revealed he had lost access to $10,000 in crypto. “Binance has stolen my crypto and ignored my correspondence” he posted in a long, ranting post on the r/crypto subreddit.

A quick look at Dave’s twitter reveals his frequent tweets about Bitcoin, support of libertarian philosophy and Murray Rothbard quotes. At various point, he’s complained about “wide-reaching government powers”, the “man in Washington” and supported crypto currencies as a way to “break the government and banks” and “reduce corporate power”.

In a surprising turn of events, Dave plans to file a complaint with the Federal Trade Commission, an agency aimed at consumer protection. After getting no response from Binance and unhelpful suggestions from the crypto community on Twitter and Reddit, Dave sees no other option other than contacting the US government for help.

Dave might have a slightly skeptical view of crypto currency as a financial answer to his libertarian viewpoints given his reduced tweets about it. Dave has moved on to become an open-carry advocate as of now.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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