To be 'Pinged' or not to be 'Pinged' that is not the question, especially in the UK!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Thursday, 22 July 2021

image for To be 'Pinged' or not to be 'Pinged' that is not the question, especially in the UK!
He was never 'Pinged', he just got 'Pissed' after saving the nation! Man do the UK need him to stop 'Ping

Technology, modern science, and communication systems have taken the human race to new limits of not knowing what the fuck is going on around them, especially in the UK, led by its incompetent, bumbling, scatty PM!

The latest trend, after 'Freedumb Day' is now a 'Pingdemic' reigning in from outer cyberspace disrupting many sectors of the Brit economy. However, it has nothing whatsoever to do with EU truckers refusing to enter the UK with important food, or JIT parts only available in EU nations! Sweep that under the Nr.10 carpet!

So, after researching the 'Ping' phenonium, Jaggedone, expert in all things 'spaced-out-in-the cyber-world' has now catalogued several 'Ping' invasions screwing people's minds, bodies, and sending UK citizens bananas, a non-EU product which should be thrown at BOJO when they put him behind bars!


Pinged Off = Pissed off in normal language, but hardly anybody speaks that these days!

"Ping My Bell" = "Darling I want sex, but do not 'Ring my Bell' just 'Ping My Bell!' "And please do not cough or sneeze whilst I blow you away, I might need to quarantine!"

"Don't Ping me, I'll Ping you!" = Fuck off in normal English!

"I need a Ping!" = UK Punters outside clubs dying of thirst demanding a 'Pint', but sadly bouncers do not quite understand cyber language and only will let thirsty, mask-less punters in if they promise not to be 'Pinged!'

"I just Pinged alongside the bog!" = Confused 'Pinged' punters in a boozer not 'pinging' in the bog but missing it by a mile! Note: Pissed punters do not understand any language, so, what's the problem!

"My dog just Pinged on the floor!" = Dog owners using the latest cyber word to describe their doggies doing what all doggies do, peeing on floors because if the owners say, "Naughty doggy, do not Ping on the floor" Dogs just do not understand cyber language!

"I'm 'Pinging' in the rain!" = Revival of musical classic, brought into modern cyber-language and quite useful, but only when your smartphone does not get soaked in torrential rain, a usual occurrence in the UK!

Last not least: "Ping Pong' Champion of the people, BOJO! = To Ping is not to Pong, but BOJO is so 'Pinged' out of his moronic brains he resembles Chinese 'Ping Pong' players whizzing a 'Ping Pong' ball at a thousand miles an hour across a 'Ping Pong' table, and only the Chinese know what the fuck is really going down!

Jaggedone has just 'Pinged Off' to the bog for a good old-fashioned pee and not a 'Ping!'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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