SHEBOYBAN, Wisconsin – The Hey We Got All Kinds of Pets Pet Shop, keeps selling out of their unique, one-of-a-kind Covid-sniffing Hummingbirds.
Store owner Lenny Soapstone, told Fuchsia Garfunkel with Ipso Facto News that his cousin Herbert, who has dozens of birds ranging from hummingbirds to ostriches spent 13 months training the little long-beaked cuties to sniff out the so called Trumpalooza Virus.
Herbert said that the trick is to have lots and lots of patience, because there is nothing meaner than an angry hummingbird.
He said that when pissed off the little guys (and gals) can jam their 6-inch beaks deep into a human’s cheeks, nose, and even private parts.
When asked how much the trained hummingbirds sell for, Soapstone replied that they retail for $817.98 each or $1,632.98 for a male and female pair (and for those readers without access to a calculator, that’s a savings of $2.98).
Soapstone says that he presently has a backlog order for 906 of the Covid-sniffing hummingbirds, including orders from far off places as Thailand, Lithuania, Saudi Arabia, and Macadamia.